a week in the life, condensed version

It’s been a hectic week since I was last here! The trip to St. Louis was quick, but wonderful, and the drive was spectacular. Although the colors were past peak, the yellows were especially rich and golden, and it was glorious to pass through such beautiful scenery. We packed a lot into the visit, including carving pumpkins, a swim in the morning, a trip to Whole Foods, and more! The girls were delightful, though Katie had a few “terrible two” moments that seemed to pass as quickly as they came. But she looks adorable in her dress, which is now hemmed and finished, and we are all looking forward to her part in “the parade” on Saturday.

There have been lots of errands, the day at the church that included the last of our five-part class, work on table assignments, picking up my dress, and so on. The next few days are equally busy as we take care of those final preparations for the weekend, including cleaning the house in time for Mom’s arrival on Wednesday. I’ll try to snag an idle moment here or there to report in on the blog, but won’t promise! Some days there is so much to say that there is nothing to say, ya know?

Blessings on your day!

hayride

It was great, yesterday, to finally have a chance to be out enjoying a beautiful fall day! One of my parishioners lives in a predominantly agricultural area and hosts a hayride every few years, complete with an open pit fire and roasting hot dogs and making s'mores. Yesterday was the perfect day for that, and we had a lovely time. Here are some shots of the action and scenery!

This morning after swimming I head to St. Louis so Katie can have a dress fitting! If I can get there early enough we might be able to go out and shop for her shoes, too, but I’m not worrying about that being my accomplishment. It will be good to see Carrie and Dave and the girls, and have a little time with them before the big weekend coming up. Hard to believe it’s less than two weeks away! For the next two days, though, I’m just planning to enjoy being with this part of my extended family. The camera battery is charged, so I’m all set!

white smoke in Tennessee

Well, at long last we have finally managed to elect a bishop. I suppose I should be cheering, but I'm not happy with the choice. Of our three candidates he was my least favorite. The detracting points are that I find him to be boring to read, and boring to listen to. We need someone who can inspire and excite us with his vision. He used a lot of jargon in his speech, which says to me that he lacks original thought. He jokingly said he doesn't know the bible well, and by that he meant that his memorization of verses to quote is lacking (I can relate, I have the same problem), but in one who is the leader of a diocese, this is troubling to me. He doesn't have tons of experience, and by the stories he relates I fear that some of his successes have been more the result of luck than ability. He hasn't been tested by the kind of fires into which he will walk when he dons the mitre here. That worries me, I fear he will be overwhelmed. He is young, with the potential of being our bishop for the next 24 years. That's a long episcopate in a time of tumult and uncertainty in an institution's life. I have committed myself to working with him and with my colleagues and other leaders to restore this diocese to some modicum of health, and to help us achieve good, even great, things in the years to come. But I am not excited. I pray that the grace of divine surprise will transcend my disappointment and deliver hope to me and to others who share my disappointment. At least there is movement forward now, and I guess for that I can be grateful.

bumps

It’s been a busy week, with lots of details to track and attack, and the next few days will continue to be full, though in different ways. The good news is that a lot has gotten done, old lists are obsolete and new ones become so fairly quickly. Works for me!

The bad news is that Junior will not be able to be here for the wedding. He called last night to tell us that he leaves on Sunday for six week’s training at another base. I am heartbroken, and have not found a way to console myself. It’s been difficult enough that others who I had looked forward to sharing that day with won’t be there, but this has flattened me.

There have been other adjustments to make, as well. The perfect shoes I had found (I looked high and low for them!) are too low to wear with the dress. I found another pair (Jayne, we will be twins in different colors!), but they will kill my feet. I think I’ll take both pairs and trade them off depending on need—I don’t want to trip going down the aisle, after all! And yesterday I discovered that the centerpieces for the rehearsal dinner won’t work. Fortunately I found some potted gerbera daisies at Walmart yesterday that will be a great substitute, but I need to work on decorating them appropriately, and am not sure how I will accomplish that.

So the beat goes on, with blips and burps, but at least it goes.

desperately seeking fashion

The last few days have been crammed with things to attend, errands to run, shopping (both necessary and therapeutic, LOL), records to update, cards to create, emails to answer, thank you notes to write, and on and on…

Among the items on my list has been to look for something to wear to my bridesmaid lunch. I thought I should look for something sort of “hip,” and as trendy as possible without requiring a personality transplant. I looked, and looked, and looked, and the truth of the matter is that I simply abhor the styles that are presently in vogue. The fabrics are either cheap looking or too heavy and shapeless, never mind in patterns that look like the remnant bin from twenty years ago. I finally found a Ralph Lauren Chaps skirt that had a sophisticated look and came in a classic paisley pattern in more traditional colors. I searched high and low for a top to match and finally found a sweater that would do the trick. Sigh. This morning I tried the skirt on in the light of my own bedroom and am asking myself, "what was I thinking?" The skirt may be just a bit too trendy after all! What to do, what to do? I can swallow my self-consciousness for the occasion of the luncheon, but then what? The skirt has panels in the lower portion that flare out and droop below the “normal” hemline. Not your typical priestly attire, let me tell you, and where else will I wear a skirt?

So the question remains: keep it and make my peace with dressing outside the box? Or return it and save the money and pull something from my wardrobe that I already own? Some days it’s tough to be a bride…

big biscuit day here!

After a couple of days of melancholy (we are receiving a lot more “regrets” for the wedding than we anticipated) today has been a turn-around. I got some cleaning done, the results of which are always satisfying and a good “pick-me-up,” I’m making progress on Katie’s flower girl dress, crossed a few more things off the “to do” list, kept on top of thank you notes, and managed to get a few errands done before lunch. This morning a wedding gift was delivered by Fed-Ex, and in today’s mail two additional gifts arrived, plus a little something from Jules that is perfect for altering. (Thank you, Jules! It’s perfect!!) It’s what Kip calls a Big Biscuit Day! Tomorrow I have the fitting for my dress, and tomorrow evening there’s a reception for our diocesan clergy to meet the nominees on the slate from which we will try to elect a new bishop. I actually have hope for this election. After reading their bios and materials I could vote for any of the three (down from an original slate of five after two withdrew), and I think there are many of us who feel the selection is a good one.

We’re looking forward to tonight’s Dancing with the Stars, and I will be interested to see how they will drop back and punt in response to Sara Evans’ withdrawal. The press hasn’t been quiet about Sara’s pending divorce (entire pages of articles in the Nashville paper), but there sure hasn’t been much word from ABC!

Today’s picture is a sunset from Melrose when we there last week. Oh, to be back there on the porch watching the day fade with a nice glass of wine, yummy nibbles, and good company…

blessings

One of the ways I feel most blessed in my life is by the pets with whom I have had the pleasure of sharing my domicile. The two who now keep me company are Dooley (my Jekyl and Hyde, grumpy snuggle-bug), and Juliet (my sweetheart). When we had a pet blessing service at church a few weeks ago they came and received their blessing, and Juliet even earned the award of Miss Congeniality (this, in spite of a modest stand-off with Roscoe--further evidence that she is also a shrewd judge of character). Here they are in the act of blessing, looking rather peaceful and at ease (not an easy task for Dooley). What mama wouldn't be proud?

Melrose

Melrose is my family’s tree farm in South Carolina. We don’t know how long it’s been in the family—it’s said that my great-great-grandparents went to live there after the civil war, when they were evicted from their property in Georgia because they couldn’t afford the taxes (they eventually got the property back). My great-grandfather planted a peach orchard on the property in the early years of the twentieth century, an endeavor that eventually lost out to blight. Native pine reclaimed the land, and my grandmother cultivated a tree farm to harvest timber.

It has been a part of my life all of my life, and a regular fixture when I was growing up when we spent our spring school vacations there. It is a place I love deeply for its beauty, serenity, the grace of the landscape, and the connection to my own family’s history.

The family has a tradition of enjoying happy hour, either on the lawn in front of the cottage, or up on the cottage porch, and watching the sun set across the Savannah River valley that borders our property. Over the years as the hardwood trees have matured, the extensive vista has become increasingly obscured—until now. One of the items on my mother’s agenda for her fall visit to Melrose this year was to clear the view and restore the vista. Here is a before and after shot, and a view of the area that was cleared (that’s Juliet in the picture).

I can’t wait to go back in the spring when we have more than two days to enjoy soaking up this view.

fall delight

Yesterday afternoon we took advantage of a lovely fall day and headed to Cheekwood, Nashville’s botanical garden. It’s on the old estate of the Cheek family, and the old family home is now a museum, but the grounds are wonderfully landscaped, with nooks and crannies, views and vistas, and little, tucked away spots that play host to some delightful plants and sculptures. There’s a woodland sculpture path that had an interesting collection, including this one with the animals. I couldn’t resist joining them for some conversation. We’re off to SC for a few days to enjoy the tree farm and a quick visit with Mom while she’s there for her fall visit. I’ll try to post from there, but pictures will be a challenge since dial-up and blogger aren’t very compatible.

Blessings on your day!

ah, fall...

We had such a gorgeous day yesterday--cool and crisp, sunny and bright, it was an absolute treat. When I took the dogs for their walk last night the new harvest moon had just risen above the tree-tops and was brilliant. I had heard earlier on the radio that this moon is called the harvest moon because it is so bright that farmers could work under its brightness late into the night to bring in their harvest. I can believe it! Today looks like it will be another beauty, and with any luck I'll have a chance to get out with my camera and capture some of its glory. In the meantime I wish a glorious day to one and all, wherever you are!

a model grief

In the remains of Tuesday's tragedy in Nickel Mines, PA, an Amish community is already beginning the process of healing as the depth of their faith holds together devastated hearts and families. They are an astounding example of what it means to live a Christ-like life-- acknowledging the torment of the soul that wrought an act of horror, having compassion for his family, and holding firmly to the belief that though their own lives are rent with loss and grief, their children rest in the peaceful arms of God where they now await a future reunion with those they love. Forgiveness is made manifest in such faith, and whatever else about their choices may make some of us uncomfortable, they are a model of the very best of what the human heart is capable of holding and expressing. There is no need to pray for God's peace to visit them, they have made it evident that God's peace is there already. Instead we might pray that our own hearts be made more like theirs.

He's home!

Just yesterday Ken mentioned that he was looking forward to hearing the distinctive ring tone on his phone signaling that Junior was the caller. We knew he was likely to be home from Iraq sometime this week, but with military movements you just never know. Mere hours after Ken's comment, the revelry ring sounded, and one very happy papa reached for that phone. It's always a relief to know that he's on home turf, and my prayers for him can shift. In the meantime, those who remain or face deployment still need our prayers and our government's thoughtful strategic plan to get them home. Welcome home, Junior!

another countdown

Yes, it's really true, the legendary, perpetually "in the works" web site is soon to be unveiled! The site is up, but I need to review some of the payment processing procedures to make sure I've got those ducks in a row before going public. And I have to say, I am terrified! Since I'm not a technically inclined person (squeamish is the word I used with a tech support person recently, and he thought that was hilarious!) I have fears of technical things blowing up in my face, errors upon errors interfering with order processing and a happy shopping experience for my customers. Eek!

I’m sure all will be well, but this is brand new territory for me. Although I have full confidence in the quality of my products and my desire to provide outstanding customer service, I confess that the technical side of things puts me at risk of making a hash of things. It would be wonderful if things go so well that I can afford to hire someone to take those worries off my shoulders, and I can revel in the creative work while someone else revels in the world of bits and bytes, and URL’s. For now, though, this baby is all mine, for better or worse.

What am I always telling people? Breathe. Just breathe.

counting down

Well, six weeks from tomorrow is our big day! The invitations are going in the mail today, and I will be glad to see them go! While they have not been a problem, they have certainly consumed a lot of time in the acquisition, design, printing, addressing, and stuffing and stamping of all necessary parts! There continue to be a few elusive addresses, but once the bulk of them are gone, zeroing in the remainder won't be a problem. We had the tasting the other day to determine what choices to offer for entrees at the reception, and were thrilled with everything we sampled. We are also thrilled with the new event coordinator at the hotel, not minding at all changing that horse in midstream after the lacklustre and lack-of-enthusiasm of the previous coordinator.

Tonight we’re having company for dinner, so I’ve got a busy day ahead sealing and mailing envelopes, cleaning the house, shopping and making dinner! I hope nothing else comes up that needs attention, because the above is enough to max out my day. I always seem to have anxiety about cleaning up adequately. I don’t have a need for a perfect house, but dust and dog hair don’t qualify as suitable hospitality in my book, so there are certain minimums that must be done. And then there are the bathrooms…

In the meantime we’re having glorious fall weather, and except for leaky goggles this morning that ruined my swim, the day looks like a good one. Hope it is for you, too!

flexibility, part ii

When I was at my first full time position as a priest, I encountered several people who accused me of being inflexible. It struck me as odd, because I am not the intransigent sort. Opinionated at times, yes! Intransigent, no. (One of the things about being flexible is that when you HAVE been flexible no one knows it, because you’ve already shifted a position or decision that is in accord with another’s views or wishes.)

When my boss made mention of it to me, I began to catch on. He was a very loosy-goosy type priest, and by that I mean that he wasn’t particular or fussy about following church traditions or protocols. To him, the fact that he showed up and did his job was good enough, the rest were nothing more than fussy details.

Sometimes that attitude works just fine, and I also confess that while working with him I loosened up a bit in some areas that warranted loosening. But because in the church there ARE certain things that are suited to order and routine, I was the stickler who maintained the order.

One story illustrates how the perception of inflexibility took root. It was nearing Christmas, and on this particular year Christmas Eve fell on a Sunday. What that means in terms of a liturgical church is that the fourth Sunday of Advent (a purple season, in terms of liturgical color use) would be celebrated that morning, and that evening we would hold the first celebration of Christmas (a white season). That Saturday the altar guild began to decorate the church for the Christmas season, and one of the women implored me, “Can’t we just go ahead and set up for Christmas (meaning, set out the white hangings and other worship appointments that change color according to the season)”? It would spare them lingering after church Sunday morning to make the changes, and with multiple services already that day because of Christmas Eve, they would be plenty busy. I said no. In the morning we were celebrating the fourth Sunday of Advent—we were still in Advent! We would set up accordingly.

That wasn’t inflexibility, it was maintaining order. Though many in the pews wouldn’t have noticed the error, one of the appeals of Anglicanism to many people is the ordered and ritualized way that we live our corporate life. There were just as many people who would have noticed, and half of them would have said something!

I don’t know why it is that standing one’s ground is equated with inflexibility, but in some people’s minds, it is. My capacity for flexibility became something of a joke between me and Kathy. On one occasion she gifted me with a bible, and the card that came with it had descriptive words all over the front highlighting positive character attributes. It begins, “You are terrific, charming, dashing, bright, talented, funny, warm, sensitive, kind…” and that’s just the first of about fifty lines of adjectives! When you opened the card, she added the words, “and flexible!” The card is taped inside that bible, which I keep at my desk.

Now, just don’t ask if I can touch my toes. I’ve never been flexible in that way!

flexibility, part 1

Sometimes you know just what you want, and nothing else will do. Sometimes you start with an idea of what you want and work to achieve or accomplish it, and along the way the plan gets reshaped and retooled, and what you end up with is different from the original vision. I'm experiencing both of these phenomena while planning this wedding!

It turns out there are very few “things” that are not negotiable. For instance, I never thought I’d get married in November, but what matters to us most is that our family can be with us, and one in our family has a schedule controlled by the US military, so there ya go! Other choices have likewise been dictated by the when and the where, and availability. No problem! I hear stories of brides who insist on one thing or another, and their experience (and those who have to live with them throughout the planning) is filled with tensions and angst. Who needs that? A dream should be something that motivates us. Getting attached to too many specifics is a recipe for disappointment and unhappiness. What drives our decisions is that we want our guests to have a good time, and if the details accomplish that, then we’ve done what we set out to do.

I think the only thing I didn’t want to budge on was the music for my processional. When I first heard the music more than twenty years ago (and no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) it gave me goosebumps, and I knew it had to be THE tune if the day ever came to walk down the aisle. We’ve adjusted ideas on food, décor, invitations and even attire. We’re not sweating the details.

So here’s to flexibility, and the willingness to adapt and adjust.

a touch of fall

Although I didn't have much chance to enjoy it, we had a beautiful fall day yesterday, with clear skies and lovely temperatures, including a light breeze! I took this picture after taking the dogs for their evening walk. There were more interesting colors out there, but views of them were obscured by trees and power lines, so this is as good as I could get!

The last few days have been filled with busyness, but good busyness, and I’m getting things done. That’s a good thing! This week includes a combination of church work and events, wedding stuff, and web site stuff—very close to getting launched! Having adequate time to sit down and work through what remains to be done on that has been difficult, and this week the days are broken up with various appointments and commitments, which makes it hard to get focused on those last few things. It will be soon, though!

Wishing everyone blue skies and the refreshment that comes with beautiful autumn days…

a calm person?

At a doctor’s appointment yesterday the doctor’s assistant took my vitals (temp: 97.9, BP: 102 over 70, heart rate: 50) and proclaimed that I must be a calm person. Um, okay! Am I a calm person? In some respects, I am. As an introvert I tend to think and process internally, and though I can be animated when I speak, I’m not inclined to be dramatic with volume, inflection, or gestures. Those are my tendencies. Does that mean I’m calm?

When I’m with people I know well, and trust, I’m a bit more expressive, and occasionally I’m even rowdy. Even so, I tend to be a better listener than talker, and for better or worse, I probably err on the side of silence more often than speech. I don’t usually get stage fight (amazingly, a colleague I know who has been a priest for 40 years says he still gets stage fright when he preaches!), and I’m pretty philosophical about not wasting energy on things over which I have no control, so I’m not a big worrier.

A calm person? I can obsess over things when I think something is at stake, and I have high standards about competence (I’m a terrible critic when somebody hasn’t paid attention to essential details, or has been unnecessarily sloppy). But I am also patient, forgiving, and compassionate. Calm? I had never given it any thought until yesterday. Today I don’t have an answer, and I’m not sure that I need one. But it’s been interesting to think about.

shoes

I “discovered” Easy Spirit shoes last winter when I was looking for a comfortable walking shoe in black. I was entirely smitten by the way the shoe wrapped around my foot and comforted my toes, which suffer a “crunched” effect as the result of a previous foot injury. A month later I spied these wonderful walkers on the feet of my friend Jules, bought myself a pair (well, two, actually), and hardly wear anything else unless it’s absolutely necessary.

This is a long way from my days in the corporate world, where I wore sneakers to the office, then changed into a pair of shoes that were among the choices I kept under my desk. I had six pairs there, one in every suitable color to go with whatever my attire was for the day: black, gray, navy, taupe, maroon, and dark green. As a scrapper, it’s an obvious photo opp to detail a slice of my commuting and corporate life—if only I were thinking like a scrapper in those days!

Now my shoes are pretty basic—functional and comfortable, and those that I have for dress occasions are flats, since heels give my little toes grief. Sigh. My Imelda Marcos days are over, but I still manage to keep Easy Spirit in business.

blowing the whistle

As I write this the train whistle for Nashville's first commuter rail system is sounding as it approaches the crossing less than a mile from our house. It is a happy sound. This morning is the official launch of the new rail system, which, if successful, will be joined in time by six other rail links from surrounding communities into downtown Nashville. The Music City Star, as it is called, has been making practice runs for the last several months (for some reason I think that's cute), so the whistle has been a regular occurrence of late.
As firm believers in mass transit, we really want this to be a success. I worry a little that the stations don't offer enough hospitality. The platform shelters are minimal, and though they might protect you from getting your head wet in the event of rain, there is no comfort from heat, humidity, cold or wind. Ummm, do they think everyone will wait in their car for the train to come? We're actually a terminus, so perhaps the thought is that the train will be there ready to board until departure time, but what about the other stops along the way? We'll see.

I'm happy to see there is community support for the rail, but I also wonder if the potential exists to be an effective means of commuting. There is one downtown station, on Nashville's riverfront, and though there are shuttles to other areas, the downtown area isn't exactly teeming with employees who live along the route. We'll see. I had actually hoped to take the train myself today, since I need to be downtown at mid-day, but there are only two morning and two afternoon runs to downtown on the schedule. Oh well. Perhaps in time. In the meantime, I'm just happy to hear the whistle.