hello, it's me!

These days I only seem to have time on the occasional Saturday morning to visit here and say hello. The last few months at work have been incredibly full, with the two most demanding events in my job description falling back to back in February and March. Add to that my father's death and you can understand how I overlooked the fact that all the promotional material for Marlee Matlin went out with the wrong day (correct date) on it. Big Cringe.

Anyway, we were back in Connecticut last weekend for dad's memorial. It was a good weekend, in spite of plans for virtually everything that wasn't the memorial service itself being very fluid. I've learned over the years to be a lot more relaxed than my natural "J" tendency would suggest, but the vagueness of plans was a bit much in an already emotionally delicate weekend.

There were, at least, a few tasks to be done that helped ground our time there. Mom, for instance, arranged the flowers for the service. We headed out Friday morning to select the blooms, and I took my camera. I suggested that some day I should document "a day with mom." Think of this as a dry run (even though I didn't get any pictures of her actually putting together the arrangement).

There's an especially good floral/garden place not far from where she lives, which is where these two photos were taken. Talk about floral heaven! It's a refrigerated room filled with color, fragrance and texture. It was hard to resist choosing something from every bin, but resist we did. The parameters for choosing the blooms were a request from Linda (dad's companion) that the colors be bold.  It's not as easy a task as it might appear, in spite of all the choices! Fun, nonetheless.

In keeping with Quaker simplicity there was one arrangement, flanked by two candles. Even though the hint of March's heatwave was in the air, it was cool enough on the day to have a fire in the fireplace. Think of it as a perk of Quaker worship. The logs that were burned came from the apple tree in dad's back yard that finally went the way of all living things a couple of years ago. Dad loved that tree. He gazed out at it through the picture-window in the dining room from his seat in the living room, reflecting on the parallels between its life and his own. Those reflections generally found their way into his Christmas letter! By the time the service and accompanying reception concluded the ashes were cool, and we scooped up a bunch to mingle with dad's cremains. I can see his satisfied smile.

On Sunday our cousin Ginger, who came from Atlanta for the weekend, took us all out to brunch. Afterward mom took her to the airport while the rest of us convened at dad's house to take a first pass at some of his things. The house is now Linda's, and she will remain there, at least for a time. I think for all of us it felt a bit surreal. We each selected a few books from dad's massive collection, and I came home with a box of letters and photos that had been his mother's. There are some real gems among that assortment, included a photo from the 1880's of the choir from the Wilkes Barre Methodist Church. And to think that all these years I thought my grandmother was a homegrown Presbyterian! (Her mother is in the picture of the choir, but there are a number of church-related items that make it pretty clear this was the family church.) I plan to scan a lot of the photos, and then some of them will go to Mt. Holyoke, my grandmother's alma mater. This is the centennial year of her graduation in 1912. No doubt you'll see a few of these in due time.

Sunday night we enjoyed dinner with my dear friend from grade school and matron of honor, along with her husband and mother (my godmother) and mom. We shared a selection of tasty goodies at a local Thai restaurant, concluding the weekend with full tummies and some good catching up with old and wonderful friends.  I had to chuckle when my godmother leaned over to whisper to Ken, whom she had not met before, "I like you better than I thought I would." 

Back in Tennessee life goes on, and I now have the task of figuring out how to get dad's piano shipped here.  It's the one thing that has been in his possession over the years that I have wanted when this day arrived. 

When I can find that time to sit and compose the post I want to share something about which my brother spoke so eloquently at the memorial. For now this post has rambled on long enough, and it's time to tackle today's to do list. 

Until the next time, may the luck of the Irish be yours.

and baby makes nana and grandpa happy

We're back from a weekend with our daughter and her newly expanded family! Each visit with them familiarizes us with our grandsons, and them, us. A good great thing! Friday evening after dinner we were out in their backyard and Luke was leading the way, calling over his shoulder, "Come ON, Nana!" Music to my ears.

We were blessed with good weather for mid-July. The days got into the high 80's, but overnight it cooled to 70 or slightly lower, and sleeping under ceiling fans to help cool the house down at Melrose, this was an incredible blessing. Humidity was present, but low, and a slight breeze made the warmth bearable. A big "thank you" for that.

Jude, whose birth was the catalyzing event for the timing of this trip, is sweet, and I drank in the joy of watching the constantly changing expressions on his face when he was awake, which wasn't often. In a way it is just as well that his interactive capacity is low right now, because it gave us time to play with Luke and Cross and let them know that Nana and Grandpa are cool. Ya know?

Friday we cooked out on the deck and then played in the backyard, swings and a trampoline being the activity of choice. It's been about 40 years since I was on a trampoline, and although I'm sure I looked anything but graceful up there, it was fun to bounce and giggle with my boys! Other activities included puzzle making and oohing and ahhing over the collection of trucks, trains and boats. I couldn't keep up with all their names, so (shhhhh!) don't tell.

Saturday was spent out by the lake with picnic lunches, some paddling in the blow-up canoe, and attempts to fish. We were also delighted to have dinner with our friends Jimmy and Barbara Saturday night. Time with them is always a treat.


Sunday morning we met the family for breakfast at Cracker Barrel before they headed to church and we returned to Melrose to wash sheets and towels and take care of other sundry details to close up the house. We got on the road around noon and headed home.

Now it's back to the grind with wonderful memories and some fun pictures to light our way into the week. Week? Here we come!

Ashley and Luke rockin' it at Cracker Barrel

Travis and Jude share a moment

Cross demonstrates his double-fisted agility with a banana split.

So happy to introduce

our new grandson, Jude! Facebook friends met him last night, and we will meet him in the flesh this weekend! This makes three boys and one very happy family. I don't have details at this point, but does anyone really care when he got here and how much he weighs? We're just delighted he has arrived!

family time

The best part of the BRC weekend was being with family. Although most of it wasn't leisurely, I count on every occasion with our grandchildren as an opportunity to get to know them, and for them to get to know us. It tugs on my heart that they don't recognize us or have a bond with us, just one of the reasons I am so grateful that they will soon be close enough to see them more regularly.

Luke, now three and a half, is fond of contorting his face! I don't tend to keep those pictures, though there are a few, like this one. He is cautious, frequently in motion, and smart as a whip. His caution is expressed in phrases like this one: "Mama, don't let that man talk to me!" Cross, one and a half, is fearless. He scrambled up and over parts of the jungle-gym without hesitation, over and over again. He is getting better and better at forming words, though they are still hard to understand. I love when he hears a new word and tries to sound it out just after you've spoken it.

Here are a few moments I cherish.

 

 

 I forgot to mention the team t-shirts for the competition! Nearly every team had family and friends showing their support and making them readily identifiable by means of colorful and distinctive t-shirts. It occurred to me too late in the game to try to photograph as many as I could. Our shirt can be seen below. At the time they needed to be ordered we didn't know the team number, so Trisha stenciled our number on the sleeve of each shirt (except the boys shirts, which were too small for the stencil). This picture wasn't taken to show the shirt. It captures a father-son moment where Travis is explaining to Luke that when you blow on embers (a stick from the fire), it makes the embers glow.

Here are a few I downloaded from a Ft. Benning site. You'll  need to click to enlarge for a better view. And in case you're wondering (as I did), the HE>I is "He is greater than I," a reference to Christ. I love that the dog has a shirt.

Tomorrow we'll be back to our regular programming. See ya!

friday fodder

I'm not playing the usual friday five today. The topic is perks of ministry, and, well, this week I'm not feeling perky about ministry. Some weeks are like that. I DID get the newsletter done, and it's in the mail and will reach people today, so that's a good feeling.

In other news, big news for our family, our daughter and her clan finally have their assignment for the next stint in Travis' career. He winds up his residency in San Antonio this spring and then they will be off to Augusta, stationed at Fort Gordon. Yay! For one thing, they will be much closer to us (a six-hour drive), which means that it will be much easier to get to them, and them to us. AND, they will be near Melrose. With baby number three due in July, we'll actually be able to get there and see him or her as a newborn. Nana is smiling big time!

I'm working toward the fodder. Initially Ashley and company were very excited about the possibility of going to Augusta. It was their first choice. Travis was born there when his dad was stationed at Fort Gordon. His parents love Augusta, and at one time talked about retiring there. Now, it seems, the attractions of family-friendly San Antonio have spoiled the kids a bit, and they're feeling disappointed that Augusta doesn't measure up in that department. Augusta may not be the place where they settle in for the long haul. Then again, once they get there they may discover that it's a great place to raise a family, even without Sea World. The ease with which they can get to the lake, a handful of hours to the ocean, Savannah and Charleston, and a fairly quick ride to Atlanta make Augusta nicely situated.

Daughter-in-law Trisha is from Augusta. A big chunk of her family is there, and as an extended family they are a rockin' party crowd. The annual Gator Bowl is like a national holiday to that clan, and they have multiple Christmas celebrations. I know that being near her family is important to Trisha, and it wouldn't surprise me if she and Kenneth settled, at some point, closer to home.

With those family factors pointing toward Augusta it would make sense that our eyes would be focused on a relocation there at some point as well. We talk about it. We imagine it. But...

Retirement is likely another ten years off, and there's some time to make a decision about whether we do that here, or somewhere else. It's close enough, however, to be thinking about it with some seriousness. And here is where I am seriously torn. On the one hand I want to be near our family, to part of the lives of the kids and grandchildren. I didn't ever get to be Mom, so being Nana is hugely important to me. On the other hand, the idea of moving farther south fills me with loathing. Hot and humid is not my idea of fun. I'm a Yankee. I love the snow. I love the cool summer nights. Weather effects quality of life, and I want life to be full of quality when I'm older and, well, older.

Do I have to make any of these decisions now? No. But it never hurts to lean into the future and lay groundwork for it. We won't ever be in a financial position to have two homes (unless, of course, I win my dream house). Settling somewhere is what we will do. So I take in information, listen to my heart, and find its compass swiveling about. It would be so nice for the future not to look so much like a big question mark.

in lieu of post...

Overslept... running late... bible study this morning... will try to write later! In the meantime, more pics from Monday...

Cross takes his first steps without assistance!

I love my boys. I love my family!

catching up

It's been busy around here! The last few days have been full for us. There have been hospital and pastoral visits, Ken is now a trained volunteer for Alive Hospice and has his first "client," our daughter and family were here for part of the day on Monday, and I've been nose to the grindstone preparing for some PC events. Well, and then there's been the usual church work! I've had limited time at the computer and hate when that happens.

The standout time from the last week has most certainly been the time with our family. The boys are growing so fast! We enjoyed a leisurely breakfast at Luke's favorite, Cracker Barrel, then headed to a local park that is a wonderful place for families and kids. The large playground is full of things on which to climb, slide, navigate and test balance. It also includes a small "zip line" that captured Luke's attention and proved a great opportunity for the shutterbug in the family to capture some fun shots.

Cross has a new accessory. The helmet he wears is to correct plagiocephaly, a flattening of the skull that can occur during this stage of growth in infants. The helmet allows for more normal and symmetric development of the skull.  

This is only the second time we've been with the family since Luke was six weeks old (I don't count Kenneth and Trisha's wedding, when there was so much activity and no one-on-one time with them), so Luke is still a bit reserved with us, and doesn't quite know who we are. Ken, the extrovert, wasn't the least affected by this, but it was a little different for me. I am so grateful that we have turned a corner after some difficult years and are moving into a more comfortable and trusting relationship with Ashley and Travis. I am beginning to feel like a grandmother, though I think that will really happen when one of the boys initiates a "moment" with Nana!

Not to dwell on that: Luke loves being in the water, so I rolled up my pant legs and got into the wading pool with my camera. As he splashed around there was so much joy on his face. It was hard to capture those precise moments of elation as he spun about quickly, bu I managed a few good shots, and am happy with those.

Would love to show you more pictures, and maybe will another day, but this will suffice for now. Today I'm buckling down with other tasks on my plate, basking in the glow of growing Nanahood.

a day at the zoo

We spent the morning at the zoo with our daughter and son-in-law and the grandkids.
Color us happy!
Here are a few shots from our adventure.

Thanks for joining us!

color me rich

The other day while playing in Picasa I received an "alert" that a new version was available. Did I want to update? So update I did. There are a variety of new features on the latest version, the most notable of which is that it has a facial recognition feature. Yowza! This feels like big time, like scanning crime data bases to identify an un-sub, LOL. It's been sort of fun to see how many pictures there are of the people in my life (and sad to recognize how many duplicates I've got floating around on this computer taking up precious space on my hard drive!)

In honor of those folks--family and friends--whose images bring smiles to my face and whose presence in my life light up my days, I've done a collage of a few of the players. I love this feature of Picasa. Its only shortcoming is that I'm not able to arrange where the pictures go. For instance I had to click on the "shuffle pictures" button a whole bunch of times before the picture of my Mom wasn't a tiny square.

Anyway, this is a mere beginning. If you're not in the collage please don't take it personally! I limited myself to a small number so that the images wouldn't be tiny. All of you bring light and love to my life. I am a blessed woman!

random meme: Thanksgiving theme

Meme stolen shamelessly from the Bug at Bug’s Eye View, who starts out by noting:

If it's Wednesday of a holiday week, it must be time for the Random Dozen Meme from "Lidna" at 2nd Cup of Coffee. If you want to participate just go to Linda's site to link up.

1. Are you sticking to traditional Thanksgiving foods this year, or are you being culinarily adventurous?
We’re not cooking this year! Thanks to an unladylike fall several weeks ago that landed me on my tookus (I have no clue how to spell that) and left me with significant pain in my butt, we are unable to follow through with our original plans to travel to Georgia to be with our good friends Jimmy and Barbara. Riding in the car is one of the most painful positions while recovering from this misfortune, and the trip is just too long to manage. We have been invited to friends’ here in town Thursday evening to join their family meal, so we will make a dish to take with us there. Some minor culinary adventure will be involved. (photo to the right: turkey day three years ago)

2. Tell me something concrete that you're thankful for. (Something you can literally touch, see, etc., not a concept like "hope.")
My Hoover Steam Vac. With three dogs and one still-needing-work-with-housebreaking-issues puppy, shampooing carpets is the most regular exercise I get. The Woolite Oxy Pet Cleaner is likewise my new best friend.

3. You knew the flip side was coming: Share about something intangible that you're thankful for.
I am very thankful for the new blogging connections I have made this last year. They have expanded my world, touched my heart, made me laugh, helped reignite dreams and affirmed aspects of my own being that sag from time to time. Hugs to you all!

4. Share one vivid Thanksgiving memory. It doesn't have to be deep or meaningful, just something that remains etched in your memory.
My favorite memory is of my Mom breaking out and doing the Charleston (or the Jitterbug, maybe?) in the kitchen while we were washing up after dinner.

5. What is one thing that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt is going to happen this Thanksgiving because it always does, year after year? I’ll forget to watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

6. Do your pets get any left-overs?
Not if I can help it! I have a pretty strict rule about not giving human food to the dogs.

7. Does your family pray before the big meal? If so, do you join hands while seated, stand, repeat a formal prayer or offer a spontaneous prayer? Who does the praying?
When I was growing up we always had Thanksgiving in New York (City) with my grandparents. If my memory is right and I’m not mixing up holidays, my grandfather always wrote out a prayer that recalled the events and people that he wanted especially to acknowledge. They were wonderful prayers (Mom, were any of those kept?). We also sang the Doxology as our grace, seated, holding hands. After my grandfather died (I was 17) I couldn’t sing the Doxology for the longest time without choking back tears.

8. Will you be watching football in the afternoon? If not, what will you be doing?
We may very well watch football, but not with any particular interest. I’m going to try to make some more tissue cozies if I can. I’ll also be preparing the dish that we’ll be taking with us to dinner that evening.

9. There are two distinct camps of people on this issue: How do you feel about oysters in the dressing/stuffing?
Blech!

10. Do you consider yourself informed about the first Thanksgiving?
I do, some of my ancestors were there and they took really good notes (just kidding about the notes).

This print, "The return of the Mayflower," hung over my grandmother's mantel when my mother was growing up, and it has hung over mine (or a wall in my home) since my grandmother had it reframed for me when I graduated from college. (The Mayflower was returning to England. Somehow we never heard about that in our history classes.)

11. Which variety of pie will you be enjoying?
I rarely eat pie until the next day! Apple is my pie of choice.

12. Do you feel for the turkey?? (This is a humorous throw back question related to the 12th question in another Random Dozen!)
I’d never really thought about it before, but probably not since I am predisposed to being a carnivore.

Blessings, one and all, for a joy-filled Thanksgiving weekend!

friday five: rules and expectations

Jan at RevGals writes: After a family vacation with our four children and three additional "partners," I am more aware of rules, spoken and unvoiced. Expectations are not always clearly expressed, but are still expected. . . . unbeknown to all unless one is not fulfilled! So how about writing about rules in your families and workplaces? Choose one or more for each category, especially if one seems odd or funny to you now.

I’m terrible at this, too intuitive for my own good! I usually need a memory trigger to release this kind of data!

1. Formal rules in family of origin
Hmmm. While eating: elbows off the table, napkin on your lap, chew with your mouth closed.

2. Unwritten and unspoken rules in family of origin. These are the kinds of things that you don’t realize until you encounter a behavior or action than is different from your own expectations. Some (many) seem to be related to etiquette. Others seem to be gender-related. For instance, when I clear my plate from the table after eating I will take with me to the sink anyone else’s plate that is ready to be cleared. Men don’t seem to practice what I consider to be a courtesy. At least in my experience! I’m not sure how much of this is rules or expectations as much as it is a family or cultural norm.

3. Formal rules in current family or workplace.
Don’t feed the dogs from the table. No people food for the dogs. (Until three years ago my family was me and the dogs, just so you have a context).

4. Unwritten rules in current family or workplace.
Don’t hit the dogs as a means of correction (or at all). Can’t think of any others at the moment. See above note about clearing plates!

5. When was a time that you became aware of different rules in different places/families than your own?
At a very early age my brothers and I became joined at the hip with another family with two boys and a girl. Our ages were close enough together that we could play together, and the two families (mostly The Mothers and the kids) practically lived in each other’s laps. It was clear that they had different rules/expectations than we had (one that I remember is that they got to eat TV dinners on trays in the living room on Sunday nights when everyone watched The Ed Sullivan Show, we didn’t), but at the moment I don’t remember what else. Maybe I was five?

I'm sure that my memory will be jogged by other posts!

jumpin' jehosophat! part 1

it's "J" day! I've been waiting for this day. It turns out, you see, that there are a lot of "J" people in my life, and I'm not talkin' Meyers-Briggs (although there are those kind of Js, too!). What fun, today, to pay tribute to them! I wish I could write at length about each of them and do justice to the places they hold in my heart, but for purposes of this blog I will try, at the least, to tip my hat in some meaningful way. It turns out that it takes a fair amount of time to do this, so I have broken up my "J" list into two parts.

Let's start with the J gratitude list:

Jesus * Jobs * Justice * Jam * Jokes * Joy * Journeys * Journals * Jewelry * Jigsaw puzzles

and move on to (in alphabetical order) the first part of the Js:

Jamie, my brother: he's a bit of an enigma, a private person who holds more talent in his little finger than one might imagine is possible in a person. He's incredibly creative in a number of arenas: art, music, design, cooking, writing. He's a remodeling contractor whose work is distinctive and original. LOVE his stuff! He is quietly passionate about his work, his family, his world. He reads and studies and integrates what he learns and experiences. Sort of a renaissance man. I admire him a lot, and wish we were closer.

Janet, or Scrapping Janet, as she is known to Ken: Janet is a W: a wise, witty, welcoming woman who doubles as my personal assistant when I'm on a road trip. Before we had a GPS in the car Janet was our GPS by phone. Just one example: on our way to the Outer Banks for a wedding I realized that I needed an item to complete a gift. I got Janet on the phone, she went online and found the nearest Michael's to us as we were traveling through North Carolina, and gave us directions. Mission Accomplished (and I didn't have to wear a jump suit to proclaim it so!). One of the things I love about Janet is that she is there when I need her. Not just for directions to places, but to offer a hug, a listening ear, a funny thing to say to lift my spirits, or simply to hear her voice on the other end of the phone when I'm feeling alone. She is constant, hesed, to use a biblical word. My rock of a friend. And she sends me flowers when I'm really in a funk!

Janet, my spiritual director: wise, compassionate, understanding, affirming, encouraging. (She says "hi," Danielle, and congrats!). She is a really good fit for me, for my reverently irreverent, seeking spirit, and a gentle soul.

Jayne, yenta and so much more!: You'.ve heard about Jayne before on this blog. Dear, dear friend who introduced me to my husband, but that is just one thing that I love about her. Many of my friends are thoughtful. One of the ways that Jayne is thoughtful is that she sends me books! When I was stumbling through putting up a web site she sent me HTML for Dummies. Bingo! She has sent novels that she thinks I will enjoy, or other aids to some aspect of life where I am feeling the need of some literary support. She's insightful, caring, tells the truth, makes me laugh, and shares with me a slightly twisted theology. No, that's not right, but I'm not sure quite how to describe it. Let's just say we push the boundaries a lot, but we are firmly grounded in the heart of God. (Feel free to correct me, Jayne!). I really wish she lived closer, though she is always available in a crisis by phone or email.

Jesse, my nephew: I feel blessed to have what I consider a special relationship with Jesse. Before moving away from where my family lives I saw him pretty regularly, but even with less frequent visits subsequently I think it's safe to say we are close. When he was almost four (he is now a rising college sophomore), I was dealing with a very difficult time in my life. I was on the phone with his mother, and Jesse heard only her side of the conversation as she and I talked. After a while she said to me, "Want to talk to Jesse?" He came to the phone, and the first words out of his mouth were, "tell me your problem." Hear those words in a four-year old's voice! He is long on compassion.

Jenny, like a daughter: Silly, irreverent (hmm, there's a theme here), loveable and loving. Jenny is the younger daughter of friends from my home parish in Connecticut, and sister of my goddaughter Johanna. For several years when the girls were young I had the privilege of sharing lots of fun times with them. We shared church activities, but what was most special is that I got to borrow them to exercise my Mom gene. We went to craft fairs, pizza parlors, Christmas exhibits, movies. They came to my house for sleepovers, to bake cookies, play with the dogs, and in general just be kids. Jenny liked to push the buttons on the microwave as though she were imparting a secret message. She didn't then, nor does she now, suffer fools. She is a free spirit who values authenticity, too often has learned the hard way, and like one of those blow-up punching bags for kids that have sand in the bottom, she rights herself and carries on. She is now gaining on 30 and we aren't in touch often, but our love for each other runs deep and has staying power.

Part two tomorrow. In the meantime, here are some of today's Js. Left to right: Janet, Jesse, Jamie, (sister-in-law Barbara), Jayne and Jenny.