catching my breath between the waves

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.

Louisa May Alcott

How apt that this quote of the day from Gratefulness.org should be waiting for me in my mailbox this morning. I had a stormy day yesterday, and this morning I am feeling bruised and battered from being tossed about in that storm.

Yesterday's storms came up out of nowhere. The first blew hard against my sails, and though I tried to stay on course, altering direction was the only appropriate response.  The second was like a rogue wave, roaring across the deck and knocking me flat with passive aggressive rage. There is nothing to do when hit like that except to steer into port and confront the rogue. Peaceably, of course. But as many in the world of words spoke throughout last week, words hurt. Agendas, particularly hidden ones, do damage. Pettiness detracts from the work to be done, and distracts those whose participation is needed. Sigh. Such is life in the Church. It is wearying and wearing. At the end of the day I wonder sometimes if the Kingdom is better off for having gathered, or more littered with the detritus of human brokenness.

Some years ago I read a piece in a magazine that belongs in the same chapter of wisdom as the quote above from Ms. Alcott. A ship carrying passengers ran into very rough seas, and the ship was tossed about like a toy on raging waves. The passengers gathered to pray, while the captain remained at the helm. Members of the crew joined in with the passengers, and at length a woman detached herself from the group and confronted the captain. "Captain!" she demanded. "Why aren't you praying with us for the safety of your ship and its passengers?" With exasperation he looked her way and replied, "Madame, when the seas are calm I say my prayers, but when they rage I steer my ship."

I am feeling like this captain, alone at the helm trying to steer a ship full of passengers who don't grasp the choices and wisdom of my actions. I guess it's time to start praying in preparation for when the debris of these recent storms will have to be navigated.

(The above painting is by John H. H. Bevort: A sailing ship in a stormy sea)

four to one

This is me yesterday afternoon after getting off the phone with customer "service" at Charter Communications, our new, full-service (as in bundled) telecommunications provider. You may recall that there were some issues with the installation of/transition to their digital package earlier in the week.

The issues continue. I went to watch some Tivo's programs yesterday afternoon and discovered that none had been recorded since the changeover. Hmm. One thing was clear. Something was amiss since the installation. (First rule of computer programming--among other life situations: when something was working and now isn't the first question you ask is: what is different between then and now?)

I won't belabor the details of my encounter with Charter's customer service department when I called to say, in short, "this isn't acceptable." Let's just say that after speaking with four people--one of them a supervisor--the notion of satisfying the customer wasn't in their play book. At least I had a chance to exercise my acquired skill of not being pushed around when I was told "no" by the likes of such. I was so annoyed that I went to the computer and googled the company, actually finding a listing for their headquarters and a phone number to call. I took a breath and plunged in.

What does it tell you when the automated voice at the other end of the phone at corporate headquarters offers the options, "are you a residential customer, a business customer, or is this a customer service escalation?" I pressed "3."

Abbie took my call, and could not have been more gracious, understanding and sympathetic to my plight. She immediately diffused my anger and set about the task of resolving my dilemma. Further, here it was Friday afternoon, we leave for vacation on Sunday (read: there are a bunch of programs to record during that time), and our window of opportunity to set things right is small and far from optimal. But she did it. A technician will be here late this afternoon to make the adjustment to our system and all should be well. Now, was that so hard? A customer has been satisfied and the earth did not have to move to make it happen.

I have mixed feelings about how to look at Charter. They have provided less than adequate service all through this process, which gives them a very low score in the competence and service areas. And yet, they have a level of customer service that in the end put the conflict to rest. How to evaluate...

Remember Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof? When beseeched by a daughter to change his "no" to "yes" he takes his conflict to God. "On the one hand," he says, and offers up a point to support his case. Then, "On the other hand," he weighs an argument made by the opposition. It's one of my favorite depictions of personal struggle to which a sense of fairness is applied. Tevye rocks.

I think I am a fair person. This situation won't stick in my craw and I will move on and enjoy my television and my Tivo. I don't hold grudges. I will smile this afternoon at the technician and be pleasant and thank him for coming and making things right. I will do all that I can to be sure they are right before he leaves. And for the 20th time since moving here and giving up my satellite (trees interfere with our access to the southern sky) I will renew my pledge to return to satellite as soon as it is possible.

I think that's fair.