catching my breath between the waves

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.

Louisa May Alcott

How apt that this quote of the day from Gratefulness.org should be waiting for me in my mailbox this morning. I had a stormy day yesterday, and this morning I am feeling bruised and battered from being tossed about in that storm.

Yesterday's storms came up out of nowhere. The first blew hard against my sails, and though I tried to stay on course, altering direction was the only appropriate response.  The second was like a rogue wave, roaring across the deck and knocking me flat with passive aggressive rage. There is nothing to do when hit like that except to steer into port and confront the rogue. Peaceably, of course. But as many in the world of words spoke throughout last week, words hurt. Agendas, particularly hidden ones, do damage. Pettiness detracts from the work to be done, and distracts those whose participation is needed. Sigh. Such is life in the Church. It is wearying and wearing. At the end of the day I wonder sometimes if the Kingdom is better off for having gathered, or more littered with the detritus of human brokenness.

Some years ago I read a piece in a magazine that belongs in the same chapter of wisdom as the quote above from Ms. Alcott. A ship carrying passengers ran into very rough seas, and the ship was tossed about like a toy on raging waves. The passengers gathered to pray, while the captain remained at the helm. Members of the crew joined in with the passengers, and at length a woman detached herself from the group and confronted the captain. "Captain!" she demanded. "Why aren't you praying with us for the safety of your ship and its passengers?" With exasperation he looked her way and replied, "Madame, when the seas are calm I say my prayers, but when they rage I steer my ship."

I am feeling like this captain, alone at the helm trying to steer a ship full of passengers who don't grasp the choices and wisdom of my actions. I guess it's time to start praying in preparation for when the debris of these recent storms will have to be navigated.

(The above painting is by John H. H. Bevort: A sailing ship in a stormy sea)

friday five: holiday after-action report

At RevGals Kathryn invites us to reflect on the season just concluded and take note of the good and otherwise. My husband, ever the military man, refers to this as an after-action report.

1) What food item was one of your favorites this year - a definite keeper?This was an unusual holiday for us in that we didn't share it or celebrate it with anyone--no family or friends, just us. Low-key would be a bit of an overstatement! That said, I can't get through December without doing some baking, and I tried some different recipes this year. One is definitely worth keeping: turtle graham bars. It's sort of an update on a classic my grandmother made, and borrows a bit from a toffee recipe my Mom always made during the holidays, so this one has a special place in my heart.

2) Was there a meal or party or a a gathering that stands out in your mind from this most recent holiday season?
See number 1.

3) Were you involved in a jaw-dropper gift? Were you the giver or recipient or an on-looker?
No jaw-dropper, but this was the year of the Nana gift: Tervis tumbler, picture frame, plaque, bracelet charm and necklace. I was the recipient.

4) Was there at least one moment where you experienced true worship?
Our late Christmas Eve service was wonderful. One of our families got the idea to line the driveway into the church with luminaries. Cool! It started to snow just as the service began. More people came than we expected, so the church felt full (we're a small church), and the candlelight portion during Silent Night was magical. By the time the service concluded and we were all heading home the ground was covered in white, still snowing. It's rare to have a white Christmas in middle Tennessee, so that was just icing on the worship cake. It was a holy night.


5) What is at least one thing you want to make sure you do next year?
Two additions: After worship on the fourth Sunday of Advent my husband changed the bows on the wreaths at the church from purple to red. What fun it would be to involve the entire congregation in greening the church (though there's not a lot of decorating), with some cookies and hot chocolate to sweeten the work. I know that greening the church is not a new concept at all, but it's not something that's traditionally Episcopalian. At least not in my experience. The other is to do a blowout Epiphany service. It's our feast day, and until this year we haven't had enough kids to do a pageant. We do now, but our Christian Formation committee is still finding its legs and, well, to do it well it needs to be done well! So next  year: Epiphany pageant with a feast to follow, along with the burning of the greens. And a king cake.

BONUS: What is something you absolutetly must remember to do differently... or not at all!
The first Sunday of Advent we often have a family activity making advent wreaths. This year was a disaster. The person who offered to put it together bought birthday cake candles. I won't detail all the things that make this problematic, but I will say that things will be different next year! On the plus side, the picture above was taken that morning.

what you see depends on where you sit

This post title comes from wise words uttered by a former supervisor. Today's post has to do with a bit of a literal spin on the phrase.

Somehow I got on an email list of a church organization. The other day one of their distributions landed in my mailbox with the following list as its focus.  It put me in mind of an article in the NY Times several months ago about how the perspective of many in the pews about what church is about is different from its intended purpose, and how demanding some pew-sitters can be about how clergy ought to do their jobs.  The italics below is my response to the pew-sitter's "wish." Take with a grain of salt my sarcasm, which laces the truth.

10 Wishes from a Pew Sitter

At the start of a new year, as a pew-sitter, I have a few wishes for the church leaders I know and love:

1. Banish the "stand and greet your neighbor" time in the worship service.     I know your intentions are good, but it's forced, fruitless and goofy.  This is known as the passing of the peace, an ancient practice shared by early Christians to express the love of Christ among them. Good intentions have nothing to do with this "forced, fruitless and goofy" ritual. It's an incarnational expression of love.  
2. Forget everything they taught you about three-point sermons. You're wildly successful if you can get across one point. Just one point. Then sit down.
3. Get out and spend time with real people. Schedule lunches at your members' workplaces and schools. Listen. Get a feel for how real people live.      I'm sorry, I didn't realize that clergy weren't real people. We put our pants on one leg at a time, just like you (assuming that you are a real person).  We have hopes, dreams, disappointments and heartbreaks. People annoy us. We have bills to pay, grocery lists to make, and oil to change in our cars.  The only thing that makes us different from "real people" is our job description. And I've got news for you. Your job description is just as different.
4. Encourage regular evaluation. Use comment cards. Ask us what we remember from last week's sermon. Then take us seriously, and adjust.  I am happy to do this. Feedback is a helpful thing when it's constructive, and if my preaching isn't reaching you, I'd like to know that. Are you ready to receive the same, take it seriously, and adjust?
5. Crank down the volume of the band. Allow us to actually hear the voices of the flock.   I'm not really into the band.
6. Burn the fill-in-the-blank sermon guides. They're insulting, distracting and ineffective. (Can you imagine Jesus using them? Let's see, "Feed my _______.")  No comment.
7. Show hospitality. Encourage people to enjoy a cup of coffee-during the service.    Church is not a coffee house. If you want coffee during church, stay home and watch it on TV. I think you mean, during the service, encourage people to enjoy a cup of coffee after the service.  If you're not getting that invitation at your place, come to mine.
8. Let us participate. Entertain our questions-during the service. Let the real people around us tell how God is working in their lives.    There you go again with the "real people" taunt. Church is not a 12-step program, it's a time to praise God. I'm all for sharing testimony. When can I schedule you to preach?
9. Relax. Make some real friends. Spend more time with your family. Don't schedule every evening with church meetings.     You need to expand your vocabulary. I'm sure you didn't mean to suggest that my relationships are shallow and meaningless. But I'll second this motion when it comes to having time away from the responsibilities and stresses of work. There's something you need to know, however: surgeries, deaths, and crises don't happen within nine-to-five schedules.  Your need to call to discuss how to handle a difficult personality on your committee interrupted the time I was spending with my child helping her with her homework.  Apparently calling you back was not an option, because you were going to be helping your son with his homework.
10. Get rid of the pews. Really.    This one is negotiable. As long as the chairs you have in mind don't have those really low and uncomfortable backs.

both/and

It was a tough and glorious day yesterday at church. Let me start with the glorious part.

We welcomed twenty people who have chosen to call our church "home" during the last year. That's 50 percent of our average attendance. To those who keep saying, "we need to get more people in church!" I hope the visual image of those 20 people standing in front of the church being welcomed and blessed conveyed the reality that people ARE finding their way to our door and deciding to stay. Thank you, God, for blessing all of us with the richness that is this growth.

Two recent family additions add five kids to our ranks. A first-time visitor yesterday, a denominational transplant from California, came with her two young children. Our Sunday school program now stands a chance of putting down roots and sending out shoots of growth. We had twenty adults in the adult education hour. Amen. Amen.

The weather yesterday was equally glorious, an outward and visible sign of the inward grace that danced and sang throughout our day. My soul feels as though it has been kissed with divine, abiding love. I pray that the elation can be sustained for just a little while to keep the weight of other challenges from making their odious presence known.

The tough part of the day was, in a sense, the dark side of its glory. Within two minutes of my arrival one of our members shared with me his diagnosis of cancer. While the potluck meal was being cleared away and the cheerful voices of the morning began to depart, a new member shared the pain of her life that, then and now, evokes tears. In the parking lot, waiting in the car for Ken to lock up the building, another member poured out his stress and the challenges that burden his health daily, including that his family is living on the edge of bankruptcy.

Every community is made up of people with stories that echo these. That the pain should emerge in the presence of yesterday's joy doesn't surprise me. It's just that it's been awhile in this place since either have been present with the kind of pulse that is now apparent. It's the vineyard of life, and ministry.

My prayer life has a more vital pulse, too--an indication of the kind of terrain through which I now move, and a measure of what is at stake for the people I serve, and for me. Lord, have mercy. Amen. Alleluia!

dirty hands to God

The folks you see here are truly beloved of God. No, really. I even offered them dispensation from coming to church today. They were OUTSIDE yesterday, doing yard work: planting, pruning and weeding, primarily. At 9:00 AM the thermostat was already at 90, and humid? Is it officially summer? For their dedication and sacrifice I told them they had glorified God in the highest.

We added some landscaping to our property recently, you see. And as anyone with a garden knows, maintenance is a necessity--the only downside of the beautification effort. Oddly enough the person who encouraged and coordinated the landscaping project is also the one who grumbles about maintenance! We are in the process of putting together a garden guild to tackle the maintenance issue, but that effort is in the formative stages, and not yet off the ground. We have two garden beds that include flowers, and foundation plantings along the most visible side of the church. In my view the maintenance issue is worth it--our property looks so much better, and loved!And yes, I weed, too!

And I just know that those who went home drenching wet yesterday will come to church this morning with smiles on their faces as they pull in the drive. There is such great satisfaction to be found in the garden. Ah....

My brain hurts!

This is me yesterday at the end of the day, only I didn't look this cute.

Talk about information overload!! Between Friday night and yesterday we received ten hours of story, data, strategies and suggestions for greeting, marketing, communicating, implementing, and more. At the back of the handout that includes most of the power point pages we viewed is an evangelism checklist of things to do to improve how we live being "the Church." 45 items are on that list. Forty-five! One of the things we learned was about the use of bold print for emphasis.

Step one? Paint something!

We can do that. We just painted our parish hall-also-known-in-the-episcopal-church-as-the-undercroft last year. It was suggested that when we use terms unfamiliar to visitors that we explain what they are. We also painted the bathrooms. But there's always more. Start with something visible, inexpensive and active.

And I need to start writing in sentences of twelve words. Or less. If you're familiar with this blog then you know that my writing style is more along the lines of, say, Frederick Beuchner, who, as he puts it, opens a vein and lets flow whatever is there. See my challenge?

There is so much work for us to do. The good news is that there is a checklist. The good news is that some of it just takes thoughtfulness and time. The real adventure ahead (like how I avoided the word "challenge?") is to engage the congregation in imagining new life and new vitality, and helping them see that they don't want to miss being part of this wild ride. My own imagination will need to be led toward how I can help make that possible and achievable. Oh, my brain hurts.

Lord, have mercy!

see ya later!

Day two, the Magnetic Church.

Last night Ken and I attended the first portion of this conference sponsored by the diocesan evangelism committee. I attended a similar program about ten years ago led by Andy Weeks, whose program this is, and found it extremely useful. There is lots of material, and it's all good. This morning another member of the church will join us to soak up and begin to imagine how we can encourage and nurture a process of transformation for our congregation.

Time to grab coffee and get on the road. There's learning to be done (we were advised against using the word job or task)!

Jesus and Meyers-Briggs

First, a question. Do you think Jesus was an introvert or an extrovert?

Here's an interesting little item with HUGE implications. I was in the Cokesbury store the other day (there are some distinct advantages to living in the buckle of the bible belt), a dangerous place for me to be allowed any kind of time for browsing, and this book jumped off the shelf and stared me down: Introverts in the Church, Finding our Place in an Extroverted Culture (Adam S. McHugh). Being an introvert I thought that it was written for me, of course. Somehow or other it found its way into my bag.

Heading off to give blood yesterday I grabbed the book to tuck into my pack. I only got to page 25 (I'm a slow reader), but already my mind is jumping, and the "a-HAs!" can't keep up with each other. There is a presumptive bias in the book that the author makes clear from the get-go. He paints evangelical churches as distinctly extroverted (said author also acknowledges that he does some broad stroke generalizing). As such they (read "the membership") are chatty and casual, and the preaching conversational. Since the place and authority of scripture is central to their faith it is one of the things about which they are chatty. Evangelizing, then, comes as naturally as breathing. I'm oversimplifying. He went on to make some other observations that led me to wonder off on my own. Hence:
In more catholic traditions there is this thing called The Mystery. The Mystery is mediated through sacraments, and by its very nature invites reflection and meditation. (I might go so far as to suggest that it is intuitive, but that's another conversation.) In the Episcopal Church we struggle with our identity as evangelists. By in large we shun the notion of taking the word out to the world--not in theory (we are 'piscies, after all!), but in practice. We're uncomfortable talking about our faith (that is a corporate we, not an individual "we").

I used to contend that a principle reason we weren't good evangelists is due to our ecclesial DNA: our roots are in a State Church, which did not need to evangelize. I still maintain that there is something to that theory, but now I add the introvert/extrovert argument. As a Mystery church we are an introverted church. We thrive on drinking it in, literally and figuratively, and mulling it all over. Wonder why newcomers don't want to come to coffee hour? Hello! Introverts in a crowd of strangers--lemme outta here!

I have already been given so much food for thought here I can hardly stand it, and this is just up to page 25. This book is a must read for anyone involved in evangelism, welcoming and incorporating people into the church. It is also extremely helpful in understanding how the church might use the gifts of its people more thoughtfully and with greater impact. At a church I once served the vestry took the Meyer's-Briggs test each year so that they could understand and appreciate the particular dispositions that each member brought to the table. Not a bad idea at all when dealing with a leadership team. It is also a reminder that in any corporate setting the same issues manifest themselves.

There is so much more that could be said on this topic, but already I've rambled enough this morning. As for Jesus, I don't know if he was and introvert or an extrovert, but to me he seems to be a healthy balance that reflects both. But of course!

a fresh look at a familiar problem

What is it about a calendar changing, a year changing, that inspires us to consider that our lives are reset in some way to begin anew? The clock strikes twelve as it does every other night. The morning dawns as it does every day. And yet the idea that something is new is so powerful that we truly believe we are at a beginning. The culture has embraced the "out with the old" concept so thoroughly that it permeates what we talk about, what we think, and for many of us, what we do.

I am among those, this year, reaching out not only for a fresh start but a transforming launch into the new year. I feel energy particularly as it pertains to my work. I have a clearer sense of my purpose as a priest "in charge" of a struggling congregation. A year of living with, in and through the bobbly rhythms of this small parish have revealed strengths and weaknesses (theirs as well as mine, though I am already fairly familiar with my weaknesses), and a sense of needed structure is emerging that I believe will help them claim their gifts and exercise the ministry to which they are called.

To help in that effort I spent the day yesterday outlining ministry descriptions according to the needs of the parish's common life. The list looks like that of a large church, and yet small churches need the same mechanisms to function in a healthy manner: communication, pastoral care, worship participants, education, a ministry of outreach, stewardship... The challenges are multiple when there are a small number of players with the energy, time and commitment to make things happen.

I'm thinking that it might be time to go to some of those we don't see often and yet call this place "home," and ask them to take on a specific role. They are needed. I recall a friend from another parish telling me that when she and her family moved to a neighborhood with a church just a block away, they spoke to the priest to offer their gifts for ministry. In essence they were told that they weren't needed. That family found their way to a small parish in a neighborhood far from their own and made that community their home. They were needed there, and the gifts they offered breathed life into a house of God that needed them.

This is far from being a new idea, this notion of matching people with their gifts. Yet somehow, as clergy, I think we fall prey to the idea that somehow that matching will happen with a minimum of effort. Announcing a need and expecting that an individual will claim their place to address that need rarely happens. It takes a conscientious effort to consider what people have to offer and unite them with a role to which they are particularly suited.

A year ago we went through a gifts and talents program that energized the participants and left us wanting to apply what we had learned. The failing of that program is that it offers no mechanism for application, nor does it provide ways to sustain the momentum it creates. We made an effort to gather and identify areas of ministry where we could apply our gifts. Individuals volunteered to take responsibility for moving forward with the ideas that were generated, knowing there were others whose gifts and interests could lend support. And then nothing happened.

So I struggle. As a leader I can empower and encourage and support until the cows come home. At the end of the day if the job doesn't get done what part of the failing is mine? Where does my responsibility end and that of the member begin? These are perennial issues of leadership, especially in the church.

So I pray. I pray that the opportunity to start anew is visiting not just me but those I serve. I pray that renewal will take place not just in my heart but in the hearts of others, and that the affect of that renewal will translate into action and, ultimately, transformation. It's not a lot to ask. It is a common hope. I will do my best to work toward its accomplishment.

rounding second base...

...and heading to third! It was a very full weekend, and the week ahead shows no signs of letting up the pace.

Saturday was the church's spaghetti dinner fundraiser for the International students at our local university, with money raised to create an endowed scholarship for the students. The university doesn't have a designated scholarship at this time specifically for International students. In spite of the fact that our volunteer coordinator was very sick all week and was not able to be there, the rest of us rallied together in our collective state of oblivion to make decisions as well as make things up as we went along. It all went very well! The kitchen crew worked out a system for getting food on the plate, and others of us floated between busing tables, offering to get drinks, assembling "to go" orders, and in general being genial hosts. We raised about $1400, not a bad effort for our little band of faithful, and considering that the SEC championship and other "critical" football games were in progress during the time frame of our dinner. We're also very pleased that out of the nearly 200 meals served, 70 of them were donated to a population of homeless families that are in residence at a local campground. Supporting one cause went to support a second cause--how better could it get?

Sunday was busy with church in the morning, walking Jules, heading out to an afternoon party, and then me scoping out possible finds at a local store offering 20% off my total purchase as a valued customer. It was worth the stop. I picked up a couple of items that were already half off, as well as scoring a tie for Ken suitable for wearing during Advent. He was tickled.

Today Ken and I will return unused food items purchased at Sam's for the spaghetti dinner, make a visit to a parishioner recently home from a hospital stay, and then I will get busy on some administrative tasks that never seem to make it to the top of the ever-changing litany of priorities on my to do list. Tomorrow I have an all-day clergy event, and Wednesday we begin a new bible study series. Somewhere between now and then I need to dust off notes of old and refresh my memory, as well as do some additional preparation for that class.

Somewhere in between I also need to figure out what is wrong with my printer and get it fixed. Ken's computer has been wonked by some sort of bug that tells him that every file on his computer is infected and won't function again unless he purchases some anti-virus software. We know this is a fake, but that's besides the point since nothing on the computer is operable. Which means I can't print anything from his computer, either. So annoying.

Glad to have a bit of time this morning to get back to the blog and to try to catch up with what everyone else has been doing. Cheers!

in search of spaghetti

My church has finally latched onto a mission cause around which there is some energy and the desire to be involved. At least to some extent. There is a population of international students at a local university and we have decided to adopt them to help take the edge off of transitional dilemmas and challenges, offer them a home away from home, and let them know that someone besides their loved ones are interested in their well being.

There are several things that make sense about this relationship. For one thing it's not an overwhelmingly huge ministry for a small church with limited resources, both human and financial. For another, it's not your average ministry, and for whatever reason it doesn't show up on the radar of the larger churches in our area that would already have responded to this need. It's not exactly widows and orphans, but there is a family of four who had no bed for Mom and Dad to sleep on for the first couple of months that they were here. Needs come in all shapes and sizes. Initially a fundraiser for general purposes, the money raised will now be used to start a scholarship fund.

To help financially, we decided to host a spaghetti dinner fundraiser. Generally popular with the masses, this seemed a manageable event for our facilities and the interest and dedication of some of our reliable membership. We have a reasonable plan of execution to make it a success. That is, if all goes according to plan and as we all know, we plan, God laughs. It didn't help that I was out of town two out of three weeks that fell during a critical period in that execution. As a result, we are scrambling for donations of food so that our proceeds are maximal.

Pasta, anyone? We need about 80 pounds of it. And sauce. And meatballs. We think we've got the salad. We're going to make our own tea and the lemonade for wee folk is a drop in the bucket. Part of our problem is that we didn't have sufficient lead time between the idea of doing this and getting a date on the calendar (which has already been changed once). We are learning that businesses want four weeks notice for donation requests. We are also learning that at this time of years most businesses have maxed out their donation budget.

We are less than two weeks from our event. We will buy what we need if that is what we have to do, make appropriate notes for the second annual spaghetti dinner and highlight deadlines in bold, neon colors. But there is good news. Sixty tickets have been purchased for meals to go to a local campground where homeless families have taken refuge. A ministry to help one group of people offers an opportunity to serve another in need. I like that. A lot. And some of our volunteers have experience with dinners like this, and their wisdom is not only helpful but provides a sense of grounding (I'm trying to keep from going crazy tracking the details of this effort).

Once I post this blog entry I plan to take Juliet for a walk, grab a shower, and get back on the phone in an effort to secure some food. Prayers are welcome, as are checks to cover the cost of pasta and sauce. Or, if you're local, we can use some volunteers the day of the dinner (December 5) or some batches of cobbler for dessert. Or any combination of the above. Email me at epiphanytn@gmail.com to learn more about how you can help. No, I'm not averse to begging!

jumping back into the fray

morning mist at Melrose

There are certain advantages to being without the use of my own computer. My time is being diverted to other things! Yesterday I did a very thorough cleaning of the kitchen (sans floor), scrubbing counters, items that sit out on counters, washing up dishes that have lingered, relocating seldom-used things from the countertops to storage, etc. The only remaining task is to clean the top of the refrigerator! I also moved a teacart from the dining area out to the pantry, in the process putting away the things that had, by default, landed on it "temporarily." It's a great feeling to declutter the house room by room and get it clean at the same time. Just don't look at baseboards!

Had an absolutely lovely time at Melrose with Mom last week. We had some gorgeous fall days and a few overly warm ones, but sweaty weather notwithstanding, it was wonderful. How can one not enjoy time that involves sitting out on a porch looking at this view? I finally got some reading done, and am now halfway through Diana Galbadon's Outlander. I did some further reading on it yesterday after my due diligence in the kitchen! And in the patting-oneself-on-the-back department, I finished the NYT Sunday crossword puzzle without benefit of Google! I have concluded that I will print out future puzzles instead of doing them on the computer--my little gray cells seem to know that help is a mere set of keystrokes away when I work it online, and I actually do better when my brain has to draw on its own resouces (and occasionally, the dictionary).

In addition to these leisurely pursuits we enjoyed several meals with our friends Jimmy and Barbara (they are the best people in the world!), and we also did some research on rehearsal dinner options and venues, selecting and securing a wonderful location on a bluff overlooking the Savannah River (see picture below). In April the view will be a bit less obstructed, and will also feature that lovely shade of new-growth-green. Now to work out the catering!

In the meantime there's lots of events coming up back here at home. Friday night my friend Clare arrives. She hails from New Zealand and will be half way through her "North American Tour" when she lands in Music City. Saturday morning we have a Halloween brunch and jewelry party (if anyone wants to order some Silpada, let me know!), then head to some friends' for the Gator-Georgia game and more halloween fun. Sunday we'll board a plane for Florida for shenanigans with other friends. At Church we're planning a spaghetti dinner fundraiser for one of our outreach projects, and holiday activities begin to warrant attention. Phew! So much fun I can hardly stand it! LOL!

And now it's time to relinquish the computer to Ken and get on with the work of the day. Hope it's a lovely Tuesday for one and all!

on a happier note

This past weekend a local bank sponsored its annual "Oktoberfest," at which the church had a booth. Some months ago a vestry member related hearing about an organization that had put together gift baskets by theme; baby boy/girl, afternoon tea, coffee lover's, and so on. The idea captured our imagination (or at least it captured mine and I was an enthusiastic endorser), so we decided to adopt the idea as a means of doing a little fund-raising while raising awareness of our existence in the community.

The baskets were tons of fun, and we ended up with 34 of them (a good showing for our small church!). We sold them by way of silent auction, where shoppers could place bids on the basket, or buy it outright for its full value. I have to tell you that there were some real steals, since we started the bidding anywhere from 1/4 to 1/3 of the value of the basket contents.

The weather on Saturday was dismal: COLD, with a high of 47 degrees, and windy. Attendance was extremely poor. But even so, by the end of the day we had sold several baskets and had bids on all but one. Sunday's weather was considerably better--sunny, ten degrees warmer, with little wind. Phew! I'm not sure what the total tally was, but in the end it was more important that we had fun, and the project was a success (and definitely worth repeating). I'd post pictures but I can't find my card reader!

The distraction of Oktoberfest was helpful to my spirits. And oddly enough, when I preached yesterday I got "convicted" and preached a whopper. I think there wasn't a dry eye among the women, and there may have been one or two moist eyes among the men. When I sat down at the conclusion of the sermon you could hear all sorts of nose-blowing, including mine. Yes, tears slipped down my cheeks as I preached (this happens sometimes, and fortunately, this gang is used to that).

Happier still is that this morning I will head to Melrose for the week. I will see the podiatrist first about my heel pain, which was horrible on Friday, and then I will get on the road and head southeast. Ken is staying home to tend to the dogs, work on the stewardship program for Sunday's big day, and look for a job. It will be girl time for Mom and me--the first time since 2004! It will be good for both of us.

Thank you all for your prayers and your kindness. I'm sorry I couldn't reply back to each of you to convey my appreciation for your words--I am still computerless and am trying very hard not to displace Ken from his chair too often! He's been generous during this last week in sharing his space with me.

I doubt I'll be able to report in until after my return next weekend. Know that I will miss being in touch, and pray for good days ahead for all of us.

Peace...

wednesday wobble

I've been meaning to do a thorough cleaning in my bathroom. You know, the mirror that extends the full length of the vanity, the countertop, sink, the tub and shower walls, floor, toilet, cobwebs, heck, maybe even clean the windows! I've already bleached the shower curtain and tub mat. But now I have no choice because The Skunk Strikes Again!

This time Rigel took the hit. This happened after I went to bed last night, and since Rigel went to bed without a bath, let's just say the house does not offer a welcoming fragrance this morning. At least it's better than Ken's office, which took the brunt of the effects of Rigel's overnight confinement. As I write we're preparing to load the dog into the tub and do our best to de-skunify him. Then it's cleanup time! I think it's time to call animal control and see if they can't root out the skunk den and improve our odds at domestic bliss.

Other activity this week includes preparing for a big church yard sale this weekend. We're having families take care of their own tables and sales, with either proceeds or portions of proceeds going to the church. We're also including a bake sale, and Gail, I'm making your biscotti! Note to self: beware when Ken volunteers for something, because much of what is involved in whatever he takes on translates as delegating a whole lot of tasks to me, especially if they involve the computer. So much for the ministry of the laity! Often I don't mind, but it is starting to feel as though this yard sale is the work of a few when we tried, diligently, to set it up to share the load. Ah well. Que sera, sera. But get this! The forecast for Saturday, here in middle Tennessee in the middle of July is a high of 78! I'm still pinching myself. No precipitation in sight, and with any luck, we'll have a breeze. There ARE days when I can say unequivocally that life is good. And I do believe that the day will come when I can echo Junior's phrase that I'm "livin' the dream!"

This morning I had intended to go over to the church early to weed the garden. It's visibility is somewhat front and center in terms of the yard sale set up. Alas, de-skunking has derailed that plan, so I will postpone the weed effort until tomorrow. No biggie.

Juliet got her walk this morning and she was a very good girl. Before long I'll head to church for bible study, then lunch, then a doctor appointment this afternoon (just maintenance). And now, breakfast and a shower. Hope your day is off to a stellar start.

what would tevye think?

This little graphic is from the web site despair.com. I got curious about it when I saw this poster over at my daily chuckle, cake wrecks.

It's a timely discovery when you consider that the Episcopal Church is meeting at this very moment at its trienniel General Convention to consider timely and pressing matters before the body of Christ that tends to follow the leadership of men who wear long white gowns with bright red, sleeveless robes over them. This is tongue-in-cheek, of course. I love my church, and love means never having to say you're sorry for being able to laugh at yourself!

Tradition is one of the things that some people believe is at stake at our convention. This is true any time General Convention meets, because there are always resolutions that introduce a new way of looking at things, or understanding someone or something different from our experience. We pride ourselves in grounding who we are in a three-legged stool of scripture, reason, and tradition.

Not surprisingly, matters of human sexuality are center stage, and our collective diversity of opinion pretty much dictates that discussion will be lively, if not, at times, heated. A twist in the plot is introduced this year by changes in six state laws that allow same-sex couples to marry legally. Bear in mind that a marriage is created by two people who make pledges to each other, witnessed by a representative of the state and hence made legal and binding. The Church does not marry, but blesses that union. Period. It's nuance, I know, but it happens to be true. So now that five of the six New England states and Iowa (yes, Iowa!) have made it legal for same-sex couples to marry, the Church faces a quandary. It will be interesting to see how she (the Church) responds.

(As an aside: almost more interesting is that the seat of puritanism and a geographic region whose people are often described (undeservedly, in my opinion) as reserved and cold, those same New England states, are the first to shepherd in this cultural change. I guess Rhode Island is more concerned about changing its name this year. Next year perhaps they'll make it a unanimous block of states that allows same-sex couples to marry.)

Anyway, wherever on the spectrum one places tradition as a thing to be revered, its presence will not go unnoticed at General Convention. By sharing this “tradition” poster I am not suggesting that tradition is any way a stupid thing. I simply thought it was funny, and one thought led to another. I think even Tevye would laugh. Won't you join us?

when PB doesn't mean peanut butter

Somehow or other I didn't get to mentioning this earlier in the week (guess it didn't quite fit in with the posts), but our Presiding Bishop is in town this weekend! Katharine Jefferts Schori is a remarkable woman and bishop. Called to the vocation of priest several years after receiving her PhD in oceanography, she served as priest in Oregon before being elected bishop of Nevada in 2001. She was elected Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church in 2006 at our last General Convention. She speaks Spanish fluently and is an instrument rated pilot. Does all of that seem a bit right-brained? She has an incredible gift for pastoral leadership, is an astute listener, gentle in speech, full of compassion and mercy. She knows her bible and grasps fully the nuances and complexities of faith. And she doesn't flinch. Did I mention that she is amazing?

She is in town this weekend at the invitation of our bishop to help one of our congregations, St. Ann's, celebrate it's 150th anniversary year. The diocese gathered last night for Eucharist and a reception to honor the PB, and she spent a couple of hours with the clergy beforehand as a way for us to have access to her, to ask questions and speak our minds.


There was a good turnout of clergy, but I confess that I was disappointed with my colleagues. Do they not pay any attention? Do they not listen or read? Most of the questions asked were the obvious, well-worn (nay, exhausted!) questions of interviewers. The same stuff that appears in every article: being the first female PB and Primate in the Anglican Communion; the intersection of science and faith; her "liberal" theology, blah blah blah. To her credit Bishop Katharine (as she is called) replied to each question as though it were new to her, and honored each person's question with patience and directness. But oh, what a lost opportunity! I confess I had no questions prepared. Of late my own life has been so consuming that I haven't given much thought to the quandaries of the Church. Fortunately a handful of questions did offer the opportunity for her to head in new directions, directions that weren't about her but about the Church, faith, and mission. She has a heart for mission, and in her sermon last evening she invited and challenged us to be more attentive to that aspect of the Church's life. (She used a great phrase: the ministry of interruption, noting that we, as humans, could take a cue from the Holy Spirit's practice of interrupting us!)

As a Church, nationally, we are blessed beyond measure with Bishop Katharine's leadership. It saddens me at the same time that her extraordinary gifts can't be experienced more directly--a reflection of the paucity of those gifts among our leadership in the Church and in the world. I can only pray that as she leads us during her tenure as PB those who do come in contact with her will take note and make an effort to listen, to watch, to be moved to action so that we might, as she suggests we are able, change the world.

moving on, brought to you by a shameless commercial

So here we are with a view of the chancel of the church, FULLY decked in Easter finery not only with lilies but FIVE stand-alone arrangements. I have never seen the church look so dazzling! Our sunrise service came off without much of a hitch if you don't consider the 40 degree temperatures that blessed the morning. We had 18 in attendance (a great number when you consider that this service has been reprised from ages past), including a visitor! What a hearty soul she was to brave the cold and be part of a community she didn't know. At 10:30 we had two visiting families overloaded with fussy children. Though wailing babies can be an annoying distraction for many, the presence of little ones makes me smile. Self-conscious parents usually tend to the noise before it becomes a problem, and such was the case here. Anyway, we had close to a full house (the front pews almost always go begging, like Elijah's seat at the table), and it was a joy-filled morning.

Switching gears--we had a fabulous time at the Silpada party last night. We were small in number, but mighty in fun. A great benefit of entertaining is that the house gets tidied, and it always looks so much better than its usual state when it is decorated with clutter. Now the dining table is absolutely clear (not to mention that it now wears its spring cloth), and for the time being the kitchen is reasonably tidied (just don't look at the floor, please!).

And here comes the invitation to my readers. There is a necklace that I would love to get to wear to Trisha's graduation next month (Trisha is our soon-to-be future daughter-in-law, if all goes accordingly). It's a departure from my usual style, which is a good thing, and everyone last night thought it looked great around my neck. I NEED YOUR HELP! In order to get this for free I need six more orders for my party. Wouldn't you enjoy freshening up your jewelry collection? Need a gift for someone (mother's day is right around the corner!)? Wouldn't some new bling just make your spring? Please visit my consultant's website to browse the catalog. Click on "contact me" to be in touch with Shannon to place your order. If I can't get the necklace for free I won't be able to get it at all (we have zero discretionary money). Sob!!! I would truly appreciate your assistance and YOU will truly appreciate your new jewelry!!

I'll quit the shameless commercial now and switch to a "rant update." Ken saw our doctor and the podiatrist yesterday. He has inflammation in his lungs, and is heading off to get blood work as we speak. He got a chest x-ray yesterday. The verdict is still out with that. The podiatrist told Ken he's wearing the wrong shoe size! That has led to bone spurs on both heels, a shortened achilles tendon, and a torn tendon in the bottom of his foot. No wonder he's in pain! He's now in orthopedic crocs and feeling much better when he's upright and ambulatory. He's also pitching essentially all of his shoes! And I am feeling better about everything.

Oh, happy day!

note to self

We had a Seder at church last night, an event that has become an annual favorite for many in the parish. This year, however, it was late in the game before I became aware that the person who had been putting the event together and organizing and delegating tasks was no longer in residence. Questions began to be raised in earnest a week ago, and got directed to the chair of our hospitality team. I stepped in front of her to take the shot.

"No, Y is not in charge of the Seder. She has other responsibilities and it would be unfair to overload her with this one as well." Fortunately I didn't have to twist any arms to assign a new chairperson. After K said that she would call D (chair of yore), and pursue some other queries, she voiced, "well, I guess I'm in charge."

Everything got done, although there was some last minute scrambling to address one critical thing: wine (no, liquor stores are not open on Sunday). And though it was a pleasant evening and we all learned or were reminded of symbols and stories related to our Judeo-Christian heritage, there are a few details that would improve the experience. I have begun a list so that when next year rolls around we will have things in place in good time, and in good order.

Seder debrief

--Designate one person to be in charge
-- Without being the person in charge, know the answers to all the questions (you’re going to be asked)
--A great idea: someone suggested getting a bin (with a lid) into which all the appropriate Seder materials would go: Seder plate, Elijah cup, booklets, yarmulkes (it’s time we got our own and didn’t rely on Herb to provide them—there will come a time when he will no longer be doing this). Tape a list to the underside of the lid that lists the contents, as well as the storage location of other, larger items (like tablecloths).
--Draw a diagram of the table arrangements.
--Know how many tables and chairs we have and how many we can seat in the undercroft. At some point we will max out.
--Make a note to coordinate a set-up and clean-up team
--Keep a menu handy, with recipes if necessary
--Arrange for childcare, and talk about ways to incorporate kids (as I recall, this meal is very much about kids!)
--Consider a separate children’s menu, if necessary
--Streamline the program so there is less redundancy and more participation
--Consider brisket as an alternative to lamb
--Consider alternatives to all the dishes except those with symbolic significance
--Add matzoth ball soup
--Take reservations so we know how many people to expect
--Use table arrangements that encourage conversation
--Use hospitable tableware (not styrofoam plates and plastic utensils)
--Place at each table: decanters of wine and grape juice, finger bowls and a towel
--Acquire wine glasses (think Old Time Pottery)
--Set table with pitchers of water and water glasses
--Don’t leave the wine to the last minute
--Consider having music
--Dance!
--Is there anything we can do to improve the lighting?
--Put all information into a booklet to serve as a resource

I hope that covers it. I'll be listening to hear what others have to say.

friday five: time out edition

Sally at Revgals writes: Jesus was great at teaching us to take time out, even in that last week, right up to Maunday Thursday he withdrew, John's gospel tells us he hid! He hid not because he was afraid, but because he knew that he needed physical, mental and spiritual strength to get through...So faced with a busy week:

1. What restores you physically?
Oddly enough, cleaning the house. Not so much the vacuuming/dusting/kitchen-sink-scrubbing kind of cleaning (though that has its bonuses), but the tidying, putting away kind of cleaning. It’s productive physical activity, which is a win-win!

2. What strengthens you emotionally/ mentally?
Hmm… This may sound strange, but thinking back to other Holy Week experiences has a way of calming me and bringing me peace. I don’t remember the “crunch” times, but the soul-satisfying liturgical experiences. Like my first Easter Vigil in my home parish. I can still picture the candlelight filling the darkened nave as the light of the paschal candle spread through the congregation. Wow and Awe. I also recall the time I sang the exultet at the Vigil when I was a seminarian. That was humbling, and leveled the ground of my heart to receive the gift of Easter in a profound way.

3. What encourages you spiritually?
Mary. Gazing upon the icon I wrote a mere month ago grounds me. Whatever divinity she possesses, it is the human mother that comforts and encourages me. She's been through it all. Whether I'm struggling to accept someone else's choices, deal with loss or heartache, or discern a decision, she has been there. I find in her a profound depth and stability that helps me wrestle with my concerns without judgment, and she absorbs my tears endlessly.

I also find a strange peace in that she appears to offer the same to Jesus. Both his hands grasp her thumb as he looks toward the angels that represent his death. I can picture her putting him down and releasing his hand as he leaves her company. I do my best at that time to stand at the foot of her cross.

4. Share a favorite poem or piece of music from the coming week.
I first heard Herzliebster Jesu, Ah, Holy Jesus, sung by a mother and daughter with the most incredible voices that it rocketed to number one status in my list of holy hits. It still ranks up there at the top. Its fullest beauty is realized when the vocal parts can be heard. It was hard to find a piece like that to include here, but I finally did. My other favorite Holy Week hymn is much better known. From St. Matthew’s Passion, O Sacred Head, Sore Wounded. I could listen to these pieces over and over again.

5.There may be many services for you to attend/ lead over the next week, which one are you most looking forward to and why? If there aren't do you have a favorite day in Holy week—if so, which one is it?
My favorite service is a version of tenebrae that, unfortunately, we won’t be doing this year (maybe next year). I love the music of Holy Week, and we cram as much of it as possible into this service. The power of the readings, the music, and the darkening of the church as Jesus is abandoned by one and all cuts to the bone. It rocks my spiritual world.

a tisket, a tasket...

Instead of the usual Sunday school class yesterday we combined our adult and children's programs to make advent wreaths and assemble baskets of fruit and other goodies for members who aren't able to get to church. We had quite the assembly going, with all sorts of hands on deck reaching across the table, over other hands, or moving around the table and ducking in to place an item in a basket at an opportune time. I'm sure that some of the recipients (who live alone and don't get much company) are going to wonder how they're going to each all this bounty in a timely manner. Right now I'm not going to worry about that. The blessing is that a dozen or so members received a visit and a basket, and since several of our deliveries were made by two people, at least a dozen members "went forth" and touched the lives of others.

I was reminded on Thanksgiving, when Ken and I stopped at the hospital to see two members who were there that there are other people who deserve recognize as well: medical staff, fire department and police officers who work on holidays. The next time we do this we will remember to take some baskets to those folks as well.