a blip in the day

I never got to the blog yesterday morning. A certain husband began a conversation when I went to the kitchen to pour my coffee, and the next thing I knew it was time to get dressed to go to work. Ach! I had visions of titling the day's entry as "husband interruptus," and was feeling distressed, caught between desiring that precious morning time to myself and having time for conversation with him.

Mid-morning, however, Ken arrived home after doing some errands and complained of chest pain. Side effect of medication? Aren't you supposed to call the doctor if you experience that side effect? Yes, call the doctor, he said, and then, No, take me to the emergency room. This was a new kind of pain.

And off we went. I don't have a high degree of confidence in our little hospital here, but when it's the heart, you go to what's close, and that means local. Besides, we're about two miles away. We spent the better part of three hours there, most of that waiting for test results that told us virtually nothing. He wasn't having a heart attack, which was good news, but there was nothing to explain to type of pain he had had, either. There are some ills that, without explanation, you can live with. I don't find that acceptable when it comes to the heart. In Ken's case, a tear in the muscle means certain death, and that, particularly, is not acceptable.

We follow up with the cardiologist today, and my expectations are high. Tell us what we're dealing with, offer a diagnositic aid, give us something to go on. Life is at stake. I can live with husband interruptus. Living without that husband is not on my Christmas list.

I confess

We're approaching Christmas differently this year. Our own financial challenges mirror those of the economy, so our gift-giving this season will be considerably reduced. A handful of small gifts that I couldn't resist will wend their way to recipients later this week (or so I intend), but there won't be additional purchases. What funds we have will be directed to a charity to benefit those in circumstances more dire than our own. It is a decision with which I am more than happy.

But still. I really enjoy giving gifts to people I love, and I miss that quest this season. There are some wonderful gift stores in town, and other ideas pop into my head about things to do or create. I've been eyeing the box of Christmas wrapping paper with longing, and as I look at the bare space beneath our Christmas tree I wonder how it will look with just a handful of gifts below. The picture above is from two years ago, when the kids were here and we enjoyed an abundance of giving. (It was our first married Christmas, and the mom in me was a little out of control.)

It will all be fine. As I suggested to my congregation on Sunday, the season isn't about clinging to traditions. It's about reaching into the light within to carry us toward the light without. Along the way we are to share that light with others, and in the process discover that whatever darkness hovers around us, it lacks the power to conquer.

Today, Christmas music on the stereo and decorating the house will be the balm for my soul. That, and dipping into the light.

a tisket, a tasket...

Instead of the usual Sunday school class yesterday we combined our adult and children's programs to make advent wreaths and assemble baskets of fruit and other goodies for members who aren't able to get to church. We had quite the assembly going, with all sorts of hands on deck reaching across the table, over other hands, or moving around the table and ducking in to place an item in a basket at an opportune time. I'm sure that some of the recipients (who live alone and don't get much company) are going to wonder how they're going to each all this bounty in a timely manner. Right now I'm not going to worry about that. The blessing is that a dozen or so members received a visit and a basket, and since several of our deliveries were made by two people, at least a dozen members "went forth" and touched the lives of others.

I was reminded on Thanksgiving, when Ken and I stopped at the hospital to see two members who were there that there are other people who deserve recognize as well: medical staff, fire department and police officers who work on holidays. The next time we do this we will remember to take some baskets to those folks as well.

inching closer to you-know-what

Well, the pressure is on now. The boxes are down from the attic, the wreaths for the front windows are on the living room floor (awaiting a ladder for installation), and our new tree is up and looking naked without ornaments. We ended up getting quite the deal with the tree. We were indecisive between two varieties, and it turned out that one of them was the last one in stock: ours for the taking at 40% off. Now that's the way to make a decision! No assembly required, and three of the staff at Lowe's accompanied the tree to Ken's van (the tree itself rolled along nicely on a cart) cracking jokes and enjoying lively banter.

I'll include pictures later once things are in place--the picture above is a carryover from last weekend's PC party. And now, with a very full morning behind me, I'm heading to my Sunday afternoon nap.

Cheers!

switching gears

With Thanksgiving behind us it's time to decorate for Christmas. After some thorough deliberation we have decided (close your ears, Mom) to get an artificial tree. The cost of live trees have become ridiculous, and much as I LOVE the smell of fresh pine in the house, my friend Debi reminded me that there is such a thing as scented candles to tickle the senses. The fake ones also don't have to be watered, and they don't shed. Plus, if we're gone for a stretch of time, the tree won't suffer in our absence. Not to mention that the most beautiful tree I've ever had (two years ago) had almost no scent!

We don't yet have our new tree, but that will likely be accomplished today. We do have wreaths for the front and other decorations for the inside of the house, and those will come from the attic today. In the meantime I have put out these cute little numbers that I picked up a couple of weeks ago. Love them! What's fun is that the tops have magnets in them to help secure them to the bottoms--give that genius some chocolate!

I have a PC show later this afternoon, and I am hoping that the sales from that will close the gap for the month so that I reach my goal of $3000. There's still time for anyone who wants to place an order to do so!!! Thanks to those of you who have already.

Hope it's a wonderful weekend for everyone.

reporting in after the holiday

Happy Day after. I hope everyone had a lovely Thanksgiving Day full of good things and bountiful blessings. If your house is anything like ours the inside of the refrigerator resembles a 3-D puzzle where things are crammed into just the right space to accommodate all those leftovers. This cook is grateful for a few days off at mealtime!

We had a nice day that began with church and, upon our arrival home and the discovery that the turkey had popped its timer an hour and a half ahead of scheduled, we plunged into overdrive to prepare all the remaining food as quickly as possible. With three of us trying to function simultaneously in the kitchen I want you to know that I adapted well to working with two military men in this efficient effort,and no blood was spilled or expletives uttered. Go team!

Once we were finished eating the guys suited up to go "zero the weapons" at Ken's gun club in anticipation of going deer hunting today. Junior kindly suggested that we all needed to put the food away first, but in light of minimal remaining daylight hours, I handled the kitchen while they did the man thing. When they returned hours later we snacked on leftovers and then played charades until bedtime.

This morning I was awakened by the phone, Junior at the other end to let me know that he had already shot two deer. He's been taunting me with promises of three deer hanging from a tree for processing in our own yard, but I was clear with him that no such event would take place while I had breath in my body. I may have married into a lifestyle that is completely foreign to my own, but that doesn't mean that I don't have something to say about it. Moms do have veto power. But I have also gained a certain respect for Ken and Junior as hunters. They know what they are doing, and there is a certain peace about all this for me as a result.

For my part, I am enjoying some time at home on this day off to lounge in my jammies and hang out at the computer for a little while. I may start on our Christmas letter, catch up on some reading, or slog my way through the perpetual effort of bringing order out of the chaos that is my office. It is also Ken's birthday today, so somewhere along the way a sugar-free lemon meringue pie is on my agenda.

Enough said for now. Hope you all have a wonderful day after. If you shop, know that I'll be praying for your sanity!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wishing you all a joyous day to enjoy good food, good company, and the blessings of your life.

Love from us here in the Cedar City!

PS -- and just for fun ...

being there

A week ago I was at a clergy gathering at which we shared pastoral concerns. It was the day after learning the results of Ken's stress test, and before we were able to meet with the cardiologist. It had been a difficult not-quite 24 hours, and we were uncertain about what lay ahead. I shared Ken's situation with my colleagues.

Before departing from the gathering many spoke to me individually to offer their support and assure me of their prayers for Ken, and for me. One of my colleagues offered to gather some of "the sisterhood" (as I call them--my female clergy colleagues) to meet with me so that I had a place to share my concerns and receive support. Yesterday morning Ken asked me what my plans were for the day, and I told him of the small group being convened for support. He stopped in his tracks, asked "whose idea was that?" When I told him, he replied, "that is so sweet!" And then, after a moment's hesitation he added, "no one has ever done anything like that for me."

There are two things to say about this. One is that yes, it is very sweet and thoughtful of my colleague to have offered to gather this group, to make it happen, and for my sisterhood to rally around me. The time I spent with them yesterday was valuable to all of us, and therapeutic for me. I am blessed to have such colleagues who carved time out of their own busy schedules to make a space for my need.

The other thing is that Ken is, sadly, isolated from good friendship. This isn't the place to delve into any particulars or to "parse" the situation, but it is a place to acknowledge and grieve his isolation. I share it here because his truth affects my life and shapes how I care for him. I share it here because it doesn't hurt for others to know when a person is in pain, physically or otherwise. I share it because I can do no less.

I love the picture above because it represents a truth about support and prayer. It isn't about size or age, or even about faith, but about one soul being embraced by another. It represents my experience as one who supports, and one who has been supported. It gives me comfort, and reflects my peace.

I include this other picture because it is irresistable, and reflects another truth. We can find all around us companions who lighten our load, and who do what they are able to share our burdens. Sometimes those beings are closer than we realize. Whether or not dogs go to heaven (and I believe they do), the presence of loved ones on earth make a difference.

To all of you who come here, thank you for being there for me.

Lately it feels as though attention gets transferred from one event or activity to the next, with only gasps for breath. Last week Ken's tests, then my party, then Ken's colonoscopy yesterday (good results), today a clergy gathering and shopping for the holiday, tomorrow work and preparation for Thursday (I'm talking church, but there's food, too!), Ken's birthday Friday, a PC show on Saturday, Church, another PC show... and then smack! December!

Finding a still moment to consider what to put on the blog, well, good luck with that! So for today's visual interest I'm offering this picture Junior just sent of him with his sweetie, Trisha. They're so cute!

Off to the next event. Wishing us all calming breaths along the way!

the party day is here

I am tired this morning, having pushed through yesterday nonstop to prepare for this afternoon. Ken asked me if all my effort would be worth it? The answer is, "no," not enough people will come, I won't get the kind of orders I want, but you know what? That's okay. This is about hospitality and doing something I love to do.

So what if it turns out I didn't have to spend half of Friday cleaning out the guest room for Junior, who headed back to Atlanta (think "girlfriend") after the guys finished work yesterday? So what if I didn't make all the recipes I planned, or get all the decorating done that I would have liked? It will be sufficient, and I will enjoy the afternoon and feel good about it.

And now, while I should be dusting a few last pieces of furniture, I will sit and enjoy my rare cup of coffee and think about each of you. Blesings on your day.

on the run...

Don't these look cute?

They are brownie lollipops,

and are among the goodies

I'm planning to make for my party!

Busy day today! I've got most of the groceries I need to make food for my party tomorrow, so this morning I will get busy with that. I made good progress yesterday in the cleaning department, though most of it is unrelated to tomorrow: I had to purge the guest room of its storage contents to make room for Junior! He is here for the weekend to lend a hand to Ken (bless you, my son).

I also have a parishioner in the hospital so will be headed there this morning to learn what ails him. I picked up a voicemail at 8:30 last night with a garbled messaged from which I could only learn where he was and the room number. I headed over then but he was sound asleep, so I didn't disturb him.

I need to get cracking if I'm going to make headway today. Hope yours is a good one!

good news, bad news

I remember a book from "somewhere in my youth and childhood" called Fortunately. My adult reflection backward is that the theme of it was that all things have a flip side, and we can choose how we look at what is in front of us. It goes something like this: "Fortunately Ned received an invitation to a surprise party. Unfortuantely the party was a thousand miles away. Fortunately a friend loaned Ned an airplane. Unfortunately the motor exploded. Fortunately there was a parachute in the plane. Unfortunately there was a hole in the parachute..." You get the idea.

We've had that kind of week here. A few weeks ago Ken began to experience chest pains, and then had episodes of shortness of breath. We got him to the doctor last week, and a few days ago he had a stress test. The doctor called Tuesday afternoon with the results, and they weren't good. A normal, healthy heart pumps blood from the left ventricle (what is called an ejection fraction: EF) at a capacity of 50-55%. Ten or so years ago Ken was diagnosed with a cardiomyopathy, which is essentially a weakness of the heart muscle that results in inefficient pumping from that left ventricle. His EF then was 26%. At 25% the heart is generally in need of a transplant, if it is pumping sufficiently at all. The ejection fraction from this week's stress test was 30%.

Initially we weren't able to get an appointment to see the cardiologist for follow-up for two weeks, but this wife wasn't happy with that schedule, and we were able to get in yesterday. In the intervening 48 hours we lived in a state of numbness and anticipatory grief. Ken faced the possibility of having to give up his business and livelihood, and it would be the second time his health would force that hand. Every other sentence started with the word "if," or assumed that the news from the doctor would mandate what we feared.

The good news is that the doctor believes that medication, along with a regular exercise routine, will be sufficient to get Ken back on track. He will need to take it easy for a little while to allow the medication to take effect, but the doctor has not restricted his activity. We are relieved, and very grateful.

Still, we learned from the doctor that Ken's story is outside the realm of statistics. Most cardiomyopathy diagnoses don't live more than 5 years. He's gone ten. Most diagnoses result in an average of 3 hospitalizations a year. He has had none since the first diagnosis. In many respects he is a walking miracle. We are also in territory that is totally unknown.

We are taking each day as it comes, and imagining that we have years to come. We can do no less. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health--we're there, we're doing it. As a colleague of mine states the request, we covet your prayers.

imagine the possibilities!

The results are in!

Fill these containers with:
Candies (m&m’s, gumdrops, tic-tacs, chicklits, sweet tarts, gumballs caramels, Hershey miniatures, you get the idea)
Food: almonds (of any description), peppercorns (I can sell you a grinder, too!), whole cloves, bay leaves, spices, oyster crackers (see recipe below!)…
Toys: a jacks set, marbles…
Hardware: picture-wire and hangers, nails, assorted screws, anything from Home Depot or your local hardware store…
Craft items: buttons, embroidery thread, lengths of ribbon, rubber stamps, all kinds of stuff that you can find at Michael’s, Joann’s, Hobby Lobby or your favorite local craft store
Office Supplies: paper clips, rubber bands, binder clips, push pins or thumbtacks,
Other: bird seed (that’s for you, Jayne T.!), pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters...

and

think BIGGER ITEMS for the batter bowls--fabulous for mixing chicken salad (or any of the "salads"), scrambling eggs, making oyster crackers (see recipe below!), preparing dry ingredients for baking, mixing cake batter, making fun cake shapes... the possibilities are endless! AND I have instructions on how to layer ingredients to give gift mixes for chili, brownies, cookies and pumpkin bread. GREAT gifts! The batter bowls also come with lids.

Prep Bowls: 6 in a set for $20, item # 1825

Small Batter Bowl: measures 4 cups for $11.50, item #2233

Classic Batter Bowl: measures 8 cups for $15, item #2230

Now that we’ve solved some of the trickier items on your gift list, click here to order by November 24 -- I’m offering half-price shipping for out of town orders (adjusted when I process the order)! You’ll also help me achieve sales goals for the month and the year! Refer all your friends, and Happy shopping!!

SEASONED OYSTER CRACKERS

Put in bowl:
box of Sunshine oyster crackers (the best)
Combine:
½ cup canola oil
1 package Ranch salad dressing mix (original)
1 tsp. Lemon rind powder
1 tsp. Dill weed

Heat together last four ingredients, stirring. Pour over crackers and mix well. Store in covered tin or other air-tight container.

it's a slow news day, so...

(This is a scaled down version that Kip and Jules have posted on their blogs recently...)

Where is the person you gave your heart to for the first time?
I have no idea

What were you doing at ten last night ?
just got home from a PC show, watched the news

What' s something you really want right now, be honest?
to be debt free

Last time you had butterflies in your stomach?
Election night

Anything annoying you right now?
the clutter in my office

Anybody you' re looking forward to seeing soon?
Junior

Did you have a dream last night ?
yes, I washed Juliet’s dog bed cover

Are you good at giving directions ?
usually

Last time you cried really, really hard?
I still miss Dooley terribly, and those memories can bring on a full cry

What is your favorite thing to eat with peanut butter?
chocolate

Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something?
I don’t think so, but I honestly don’t know

When was the last time you saw your Grandpa?
the day before he died, January 1975.

Are you excited for anything to happen in the next 6 months?
growth in my church

Do you miss your past?
I don’t miss my past, though I miss some people from my past

If you could go back 3 months from now would you change anything?
I might have eaten differently

Where 's the last place you went?
a Pampered Chef show

What are you listening to?
the dogs playing outside

Do you prefer an ocean or pool?
pool for swimming, ocean for staring

Are you a bad influence?
I hope not!

How many months until your birthday?
6 months

What are you doing tonight?
cleaning the house, making Pampered Chef phone calls, watching TV

What' s the last kind of soup you ate?
corn curry sausage soup (it was GOOD!)

What kind of dog do you want?
a cuddlebug

Has anyone told you they missed you lately?
my Mom

Would you rather take the picture or be in the picture?
Take

Can you whistle?
Am I my father’s daughter? (that would be yes)

What is your favorite salad dressing?
homemade Italian

What was/is your favorite class in high school?
French, with Monsieur Poirier

How old will you be turning on your next birthday?
a year older than I am now

Ever eaten an entire thing of frosting?
no. do you want to ask about cookie dough?

What instrument would you like to learn?
I’d like to be better at the instruments I do play (piano, recorder, guitar)

Last time you got poison ivy?
fortunately it’s been long enough that I can’t recall exactly when it was

inspired

We don't usually watch 60 Minutes--it's not one of Ken's favorite shows--but last night we were watching the home team Tennessee Titans continue their unbeaten streak to 10-0 (!!!) and caught the ad that 60 minutes would be featuring Barack Obama and family (or at least Michelle). We tuned in.

Yes, I supported this candidate for president, so I am predisposed to align myself with his viewpoint and proposed policies, and to agree with what he has to say. What surprised me last night was the tears in my eyes that came from listening to how he spoke. He was so candid, so refreshing, appropriately self-effacing, and tactful! In the same way that he and Michelle acknowledged that his victory hasn't quite sunk in, I find myself in a state of unbelief that this is real--that someone this genuine, unpretensious, positive and yes, hopeful, will be our president in two months.

Sometimes it really does seem possible that some people are destined for the moments into which they are drawn. For a man of Obama's strengths and personality to be elected to lead this country at this particular time strikes me as just such a reality.

Hope is real. Just look at those Titans!

a must read

Thanks to all of you who responded with ideas to yesterday's post. I really appreciate your input and ideas!

I am out of the habit of reading, much to my chagrin and disappointment. I did actually finish a book last summer (about which I posted!), and AM reading the book I write about today. Barbara Kingsolver's Animal, Vegetable, Miracle is an unusual book for a novelist, but she is such a good storyteller that this venture into her family's year of eating local or homegrown food is surprisingly gripping. It also offers an insightful and probing analysis into the food industry that should concern us all.

Lest I put you off, however, consider what there is to learn. Asparagus! Who knew that one could write an entire chapter on asparagus and make it worth the read! I'm almost tempted to try some again under the right circumstances (those who know me well know that anything but a raw vegetable is not a good friend of mine. Except corn). Kingsolver's story about her family's choice to eat mostly locally grown food is eye-opening, inspiring and challenging. And it is so wonderfully written. Did I mention that? She is a fabulous author.

Ken and I talk about supporting our local growers, but we haven't yet become dedicated to that pursuit, something I think we will endeavor to practice when spring arrives. In the meantime there is this winter to spread the word, read the book, and encourage everyone we know to rethink how and what we eat. It is life-changing stuff.

I need some ideas

I'm gearing up for a "customer appreciation party" for Pampered Chef that I will host at home, and I'm inviting former hosts and guests that I have come to know, as well as a few others who may want to do some not-so-early Christmas shopping. One of the things I'll be doing at the party is displaying gift ideas using PC products. An easy, affordable gift is one of our prep bowls (they come in a set of six for $20): clear, oven-tempered glass that holds one cup and has a lid. This year PC is even offering colorful snowflake cutouts to cover the top to make them more festive for gift giving, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Of course containers should always be given filled with something, and these are no exception. Candy is an obvious choice: m&m's, kisses, peppermints... but I'm thinking that there are some other things in life besides candy that would make fun fillers, and be useful as well. Paperclips come to mind. I'm looking for some other ideas. Any suggestions?

And guess what? Any of YOU are welcome to "attend" my party on November 23. I'm offering a shipping deal for out-of-towners: the standard guest cost of $4.25 (no matter how much you order), or half of the shipping cost, whichever is greater (I'll make the adjustment when I process the order). And, everyone who orders will be entered into a drawing for a door prize. I'll post a link soon to make shopping a breeze.

In the meantime, let me hear your ideas!

a new discovery in the blog world

I started this blog mostly to share photos and personal news with friends and family. That circle was fairly small then, and still is. But along the way I have become acquainted with other blogs, and have begun to expand my reading. Today a fairly new blog on my "must read" list, Telling Secrets (written by Elizabeth Kaeton, a priest in New Jersey) referred readers to another blog, called Margaret and Helen. OMG, what a find! Margaret and Helen are two older women who have been friends for more than 60 years. The banner photo is a treat: the two of them tooling around on what looks to be the deck of the USS Intrepid in scooter chairs. These women pull no punches, and tell it like it is. And they make me laugh. Lord, how they make me laugh. And what is truly amazing is that thousands of people read their blog, and hundreds leave comments (I consider it a banner day when I get two comments on this blog)! So my gift to my readers today is to send you to Margaret and Helen's blog. Enjoy!

a doubly special day

Today has special meaning for this family. It is Veterans Day, and I am the proud wife of a veteran, as well as the mom of one. Coming from a family of pacifists (and I consider myself one) you might say that there was a bit of an adjustment for me coming into Ken's life! In addition to being on military bases not infrequently (retiree benefits, for one thing), much of Ken's outlook on life has been shaped by his years in the Army. Our worldviews are, at times, far apart. Increasingly, however, civilian life has nudged its way into shaping a more contemporary view of the world, and it has been interesting to watch some of the shifts in perspective that have taken place. While he is firm in his convictions, he is also one of the most open-minded people I know, and has a hunger to learn more about things he doesn't understand or about which he has no knowledge. As a result, those shifts do take place. Today, for instance, Ken will march in our local Veterans' Day parade with Veterans for Peace.

This day is also special because it is the second of the two anniversaries we celebrate. Our "legal" anniversary is in March, when we had a civil ceremony in our living room. But we celebrated our marriage with a traditional wedding on this day two years ago. Our plans to celebrate are still a little vague--at one point Ken was going to be getting on a bus to go to Ohio to help Junior move to Georgia, but a necessary appointment tomorrow morning has postponed that trip for a day. Regardless of what unfolds today, however, I am grateful for the occasion to focus on the man I married, and to honor all of who he is: veteran, spouse, and everything in between. I am a lucky woman, a lucky wife, and as a bonus I get to be a blessed mom. And in addition? There are always sales on my anniversary! You can't beat that.

this one is for you, Maria!

Maybe it was the crisp November air, or the holiday decorations in the shop we visited yesterday afternoon during their "Open House," but I've been bit by the holiday spirit! I got a pair of cute little acrylic gift boxes that I'll post later. I've already filled them with Hershey's miniatures left over from Halloween, and now I'm beginning to look around the living room with an eye toward decorating for Christmas. Gotta find a place for my favorite decoration, this Shepherd Santa!

Some decorating will be done earlier than is typical for us, because I'll be having a Pampered Chef Holiday Party here the weekend before thanksgiving. I confess to feeling a little giddy about Christmas this year. It will be a lean one in terms of gifts and other indulgences because we simply don't have the money, but we've already got the decorations, and the wreaths for the front of the house are ready to go. With a different layout of furniture in the living room there are different opportunities for decorating, so things feel new. Plus, I love the Christmas season, and the feelings engendered by holiday doodads and activities. Now if only the weather would cooperate and stay cool!

When I was in college I took a photography course, and one of the assignments we received was to take a picture at 10 AM and 4 PM. Wherever we were, whatever we were doing, record the event.

I still have the pictures from that assignment. At 10:00 I was checking my mail (the old fashioned kind--you know, stamps, envelopes, handwritten letters?), so I have a picture of the front of my mailbox. Through the glass pane a few pieces of mail are visible. At 4:00 I was at softball practice. I was the team manager (I throw like a girl and can't bat to save my life, so there was no point in trying out to actually play the game). That picture is of the coach preparing to hit a ball to the infield during practice.

Some days it occurs to me to stop and shoot the picture of what I am doing. Sometimes those are the best ones to take, because they actually tell a more significant story about who I am and what my life is like than to pose or arrange a scene (not that those pictures aren't important too). The picture here is just such a picture. It was taken at Melrose on the front porch, but it captures a piece of my daily life--the crossword puzzle, and sudoku.

I really like this picture, and I think I may use it to return to another of my joys--scrapbooking. There are two groups I can join that crop on a regular basis, so the opportunity is open to me to return to those waters. It will also offer some incentive to inventory and organize all my scrapping supplies and paraphernalia (never mind use them!). Gee, I'm glad I posted this today--look where it took me!

And a PS to scrapping friends--I got a Pampered Chef order from Jenni Bowlin!

suggestions, anyone?

I'm not sure there are enough readers of this blog to make it worth posting this, but I need some landscaping inspiration! Here's the challenge: there's a stretch of ground that runs alongside the house by the driveway that is in serious need of help. The problem? dogs. They love the dirt. Juliet digs in it to scratch out the just-below-the-surface coolness so she can lie in it. Rigel, for his part, loves to chew on the branches of the yews that are there and break them off and run around the yard showing off his prize.

We tried some of the small garden barriers that are innocuous to the eye and generally effective in suggesting to the dogs, "don't go there." That was until a few vehicles backing out of the driveway at various times battled with the fences and proved victorious. When Junior was here last spring he fashioned a rudimentary wooden barrier. It has also battled with autos but has proven a tougher warrior than its predecessor. Even so, battle scars are apparent. The whole scene is unsightly. And yes, it needs weeding badly!

So, we are very open to suggestions on what to do with this space that will be attractive for us humans, and less available to the dogs for their purposes (entertaining as Rigel may be when he romps). Ken keeps suggesting a picket fence, but the proportion and location are all wrong, not to mention that we then have no access to the area to maintain it.

Thoughts, anyone?

nature's palette

We have had some glorious weather this past week--much too warm for this time of year (mid-high 70's!), but beautiful. I finally took my camera on a stroll through the neighborhood and have some great color shots. I don't have roses that I can stop and smell, but I can sure stop and admire God's amazing work in creation. The color takes some of the edge off of missing New England at this time of year, and reminds me of the joys that I have right here within my reach.

This morning it feels to me as though we are all on the same page, starting a new chapter, heading a new direction, wittingly or otherwise. I even feel the stirring of exhaled breath from around the world and an aura of calm, at least for the moment, tempers the tensions that have built over the last eight years.

We begin anew, and as many pundits remarked last night, the change that has received its mandate isn't about party, isn't about old allegiances. It's about the world as it is becoming and the generation that will live into its future. It will be a generation honed by the necessity of sacrifice, and a renewed commitment to decisions made for the common good. And not just American good, but global good. I couldn't help but be impressed by the number of networks from around the world that were part of last night's broadcasts. The "neighborhood" has changed, and we are all as children learning to share our toys, our resources, and to recognize that decisions made for our own interests have implications for others beyond a ripple effect.

The times they are a-changin'. And it is about time.

the day is here

and I have voted! Ken works the polls on election day, so I was up early to get him there by 6:00 AM this morning. I brought a book, sat on the floor and waited until the appointed hour when the polls officially opened.

Being married to a poll worker I'm a quasi "insider." I know, for instance, that all poll workers are required to attend a class prior to the day to hear about procedures, learn to operate the machines, and so on. There are a variety of roles for the workers, and the training is intended to prepare them for that as well.

So imagine my surprise when the time finally arrived and my first point of contact was being instructed on what she was to do. Find my name on the list, compare the information with my ID, verify everything, check it twice--where did her initials go? What was she supposed to write on my form?

That done, I proceeded to the machines, only to find that every single machine worker was gathered around one machine making sure that another voter felt confident about what she was doing to secure her vote. I stood there. Waiting. At last one of the workers caught on to the fact that I was there and beckoned me to her machine. She then tried to insert the "supervisor" gizmo to unlock the machine and couldn't figure out how to fit it into its proper slot. She turned it every way imagineable. Then tried all options again. "Allow me," I offered, and plugged it in. I confess to more than a twinge of impatience. She looked at some information on my voting slip and then compared it to what appeared on the screen. No match. She became flustered, and summoned another worker for help. "Don't you remember? They told us that the screen would look like this..."

I realize that I was among the first handful of voters and some of the workers were probably nervous and getting the kinks out. But seriously. I do this once a year (and three times this year between primaries, local and national elections) and I was better prepared. I imagine, however, that by now the place is probably humming like a well oiled and confident machine. And I have to say that those folks deserve more credit than I do. They will put in at least a 14-hour day today without relief, and depending on the length of the line when 7:00 PM arrives, they may be there quite a while. In fact, I may just bake them some cookies or something so they can refuel during the day with some sugar--and at least one voter's gesture of thanks for their service.

I head back in a couple of hours to take soup in for Ken's contribution to the poll-workers' pot-luck lunch, and will take my camera to document this day (not to mention the newly renovated kitchen at the church where the voting takes place--it looks fabulous!).

I and would dearly love to go to Starbuck's for a free cup of coffee, but by the time I drive to the nearest one 20 miles away, it will be far from free. Thanks anyway, Starbucks, for encouraging us all to vote.

And now, we wait.

now this is easy

Nutrition in a bowl. I know, I know, I'm slow to catch on to this, but now that I have of course I have to share this "new" wonder! Breakfast has always been annoying for me because I simply don't have an appetite first thing in the morning. All I wanted was the simple pleasure of sipping coffee.

Now, ever mindful that eating smaller portions more frequently during the day, and packing those with nutritional punch is the way to forge ahead with my plan for better health (and weight), I'm paying closer attention to my options.

Oatmeal is now my friend. Oatmeal with maple syrup, flax seed and raisins. Ah, the righteousness of it all. It's the ultimate health breakfast, and takes less than five minutes to make. And this new routine in my mornings prompted another change--rearranging the contents of some kitchen cupboards based on practical use of items. Now there's a two-fer to make anyone proud!

On another note, today is my first day at the office at Epiphany. I'm waiting to move books and such over until next week, since this coming Saturday we are having a church "work day" and will sort through the items that have accummulated there in the last several years and rearrange some of the space. Today I am doing some nuts and bolts things--like reviewing the membership roles and updating a few things here and there. And taking notes. Lots and lots of notes of all the ideas that pop into my head, as well as the players with whom to discuss those ideas to share the ministry and the vision. My work is cut out for me.

And now, fortified with nutrition and energy-supporting carbs, I'm heading out for the day. Hope yours is a good one!

this picture is worth...

This post is borrowed from another blog that I visit (Telling Secrets). I suspect that the photographer didn't know quite what he or she was capturing, but others more astute in history caught it. You can't help but appreciate the poetry of the moment, no matter your political persuasion.

The picture depicted here is from the recent Obama rally in St. Louis. The eye is first drawn to the sheer number of people. Impressive, no doubt. But that's not the point of this picture to a historian. If you look in the distance there, you can see a building with a greenish-copper dome. That's the Old St. Louis Courthouse. For years and years, slaves were auctioned on the steps of that courthouse. The Old Courthouse used to be called the St. Louis State and Federal Courthouse.

Back in 1850, two escaped slaves named Dred and Harriett Scott had their petition for freedom overturned in a case there. Montgomery Blair took the case to the US Supreme Court on Scott's behalf and had Chief Justice Roger Taney throw it out because, as he wrote, the Scotts were 'beings of an inferior order, and altogether unfit to associate with the white race, either in social or political relations, and so far inferior that they had no rights which the white man was bound to respect.'

We may have some distance still to travel this road, but that day is behind us. What is uplifting is that, 158 years later, the man who will most likely be the first black US President was able to stand outside this very same courthouse and gather that crowd. Today, America looked back on one of the darkest moments in its history, and resoundingly told Judge Taney that what he said ain't so.

that morning look

In a short while I will be heading to the church for a gathering of Epiphany's ECW--Episcopal Church Women. I was just on the phone with one of the members, and as we got ready to hang up she said, "I'll see you in a little while, looking like Saturday morning." "Me too," I assured her.

Thank goodness for the freedom to look like Saturday morning. I chalk it up to arriving at a certain age when we realize that there are more important things than looking our best for a church meeting (among many occasions), and spending the time that would go into primping doing things that serve our minds and bodies more productively. Perhaps a few more minutes with the morning paper, an extra lap around the block, or finally writing that email to the friend we meant to write to weeks, or even months ago.

Looking like Saturday morning feels like something to celebrate rather than dread, and as I put shoes on to head out the door I think I won't worry about looking in the mirror to be sure that my hair is in place, or and I won't worry about the fact that I haven't bothered with earrings. There are other days when those things might matter to me. Today is not one of them.

full circle

Nine years ago I came to Tennessee to serve The Church of the Epiphany as their vicar. After two and a half very good years there I parted company to move to Missouri and marry a man that I thought I was destined to be with. Fortunately for me, destiny whispered a warning about that future before it was too late, and I called off the marriage.

The road from that point until now has been generally quite bumpy, especially as it relates to my vocational life. I have prayed and discerned, discerned and prayed, tried and failed, tried and gotten run over to find the right niche within (and without) the parameters of the Church to serve God as a priest.

In the meantime Epiphany has been down its own bumpy road as it tried (and failed), and tried (and gotten run over) to find solid clergy leadership. Last May I was asked if I would fill in there for a few Sundays to fill some gaps in the clergy schedule--what we call being a "supply" priest. Within a few weeks I was asked to serve alternate months with another priest. No problem.

I didn't know what to expect when I first returned last May, but was pleasantly surprised to find the church calm, peaceful, and hopeful. A good place to be for a church. It's membership was diminished in size, but not in spirit. It's been a good experience, good enough that conversations began to take place about the possiblity of me returning there in a more official capacity.

Jumping ahead (the full story is longer than anyone wants to read)--a few weeks ago I received a call from the bishop to tell me that he wanted to appoint me to Epiphany as Priest-in-Charge. I said yes. The appointment is for a two-year period, at which time we will all evaluate where we are, and the parish will have the option to call me as their rector.

There are a few old fogies who are resisting my return, but as we have all discussed--the Church is in a different place than they were six years ago, and I am in a different place. Our need for each other appears right, and the fit, good.

This Sunday will be my first official day as the new Priest-in-Charge. We've come full circle, that funky little church and I, and there is every reason to believe that the days ahead will be good ones.

take a whiff

It's cold here this morning, and Ken is at home putting together estimates for prospective jobs before heading out to the project on which he is presently working. For some reason I slept late this morning, and when I finally emerged to start the day was surprised and delighted to find a fire going in the fireplace.

Having a fire is one of Ken's simple pleasures. We have noted, as well, that with the ceiling fans operating the heat circulates through the house reasonably well, shaving a tad of the expense off our utility bill.

As I was sitting in the wing chair by the fire earlier with my breakfast, I got a whiff of that distinctive wood-burning scent. Yankee Candle is missing out on an opportunity for significant sales by not having a candle scent of the same. For all those with gas fires who miss the scent of a "real" fire, this would do the trick. And of course a natural place to sell such candles would be hearth oriented retailers making sales to homes making the transition.

I think I'm on to something here. Who do I talk to?

the new look

About a month ago we got our new living room furniture, and I promised pictures! At long last, here they are, with a "before" and then an after shot.

In the "sort of strange" department we saw our old couch on the news last week, in the home of a couple being interviewed for a local news piece. And not too long ago on an episode of Criminal Minds the fabric in which I reupholstered an arm chair was covering the couch on one of the sets used for that episode! Not sure what any of that means, if anything, but it just strikes me as a little strange.

Here's the look before:

And here's the new look! One of the things I love about the change is that the window is no longer obscured with the couch in front of it, and we have more light in the room. I also took down the old curtains and left just the sheers. The painting doesn't work so well over the couch, given the color, but it does fit the wall. Oh well!

you say "liberal" like that's a bad thing!

I am indebted to an interview on NPR that I heard yesterday while on my way to a meeting for prompting today's reflection. Bernard-Henri Levy, author of the book Left in Dark Times: a Stand Against the New Barbarism, was the guest. During the interview he talked about the origins of the use of the term "liberal," referring to those who advocated for or took up the cause of victims. I had a minor epiphany then (one of those "duh!" moments), suddenly making the connection between the word "liberal" and "liberate," to set free.

It makes perfect sense that "liberals" would be associated with the notion of liberation and setting free. My musings sent me to the dictionary (something I should have done long ago related to this topic), and I was interested to learn that the root of the word also connotes "belonging to the people." Further exploration yields "the securing of equal social and economic rights," and "persons favoring progress and reform in politics, education, and institutions." I'm hearing a resonance with the goals and desires of the founders of this country, and words from our Declaration of Independence ring in my ears.

It's true that the extreme of such a view, what we call radical, can be over the top, and annoying and even disturbing even to those of us wear this "label" with pride. But as with most things, I am somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, following a heart of compassion and mercy, shaped by an ideology that advocates the common good, and desiring opportunity and choice for all.

I can think of worse things with which to be associated--far worse.

worth repeating

Thanks to my friend Debi for sharing this. (I especially like #18, which made me stop and think for a moment.) I'm relieved to know that I already practice a good portion of what follows, but there is always room for improvement (isn't that always the case?). I encourage readers to adopt one new thing from the following list.

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is the ultimate anti-depressant.

2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day. Talk to God about what is going on in your life.

3. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement, 'My purpose is to __________ today. I am thankful for______________'.

4. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

5. Drink green tea and lots of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.

6. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

7. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts or things you cannot control—instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

8. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a lady-in-waiting.

9. Life isn't fair, but it's still good. 10. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
11. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

12. You are not so important that you have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

13. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.

14. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about. 15. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

16. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: 'In five years, will this matter?'

17. Forgive everyone for everything.

18. What other people think of you is none of your business.

19. GOD heals everything - but you have to ask Him.
20. However good or bad a situation, it will change.

21. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch!!! 22. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

23. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements: I am thankful for __________. Today I accomplished _________.

24. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

25. When you are feeling down, start listing your many blessings. You'll be smiling before you know it.

smart

I appreciate smart. Whether it's delivered as eloquence, wit, thoughtfulness, insight, or any other of the many guises smart wears, I appreciate it. If my friend Kathy were still alive she would tell you that I also appreciate smart, clever advertising (she used to laugh at my familiarity with TV commercials).

Yesterday I saw an ad that, to me, depicts "smart." It was posted on a billboard by a stretch of downtown highway, an example of less-is-more wisdom. The ad read:
"Sex May Sell, But It Has Nothing to Do with the Making of Great Vodka."

Sobieski is the leading brand of vodka in Poland, and it is increasing its market niche in the US. I don't notice differences in vodka (probably don't drink enough of it to make such an observation), but in thanksgiving for their advertising alone, I just might buy this brand in the future.

Another example of their smarts? "Who Needs Superdelegates? We've Got a Whole Country Behind Us. The #1 Premium Vodka in Poland."

Okrzyki! (that means "cheers!")

being american

Years ago when I lived in Connecticut an article appeared on the front page of The Hartford Courant with an accompanying photograph that I've never forgotten. The issue was immigration, and the article reported a protest staged by members of the area's large hispanic population. The photograph showed protesters in front of the state capitol holding a sign over their heads that read "Real Americans didn't come over on the Mayflower."

Oh, really? Perhaps it was a defensive response from my gene pool, which carries markers from passengers aboard that historic ship. Or perhaps it was my tepid disgust for the ignorant and uninformed mindset that crafted that phrase. Whatever jolted me then about the statement, it all comes back now as voices fill the airwaves with accusations of one kind or another about public people being un- or anti-American.

So I got to thinking. What does it mean to be "American?"

As I ponder my own response to that question I quickly discover that any answer is far more complex than the question, or should be! My initial reflection took me immediately to Norman Rockwell's The Four Freedoms. In those paintings he brings to life tangible depictions of the desires of all people to be able to speak freely, worship as they choose, not go hungry, and go to bed at night feeling safe from harm. (It is the latter painting, Freedom from Fear, that is my favorite. )

Rockwell's suggestions offer perhaps obvious reflections of what we say it means to be American, but more and more it sounds as though some people believe it applies to their own choices, and not the choices of others when differences emerge. The notion of difference appears to be very threatening to so many, and that is foundational to the problems we face as a society.

The false rumor spread about Obama being Muslim is a case in point. Colin Powell finally voiced what I have been saying for months. What if Obama were a Muslim (he's not, just in case anyone reading this isn't aware that he is a Christian)? Would that be a bad thing? Do people fear that a Muslim's beliefs might influence how he or she would shape policy? How is that different from how a Christian's views shape their own worldview? Or a Jew's, Hindu's or Budist's? (Remember, our government has branches with distinct responsibilities and powers that are designed to prevent autocracy from ruling our land.)

And let's talk for a moment about Jeremiah Wright, one of those being accused of being Anti-American. Are his views about being attacked on 9/11 any more radical than those of the Christian right who claim that the events of that day were God's judgment against America's sinfulness? Since when is being radical anti-American? Think for a moment about who fought the British in these colonies during the American Revolution, the movement for fair representation that led to the incredible freedoms citizens of this country now enjoy. The architects of the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights and our Constitution created a government that protected and provided for Americans that at that time came from all over Europe, represented a variety of cultures, spoke multiple languages and practiced divergent forms of religion. I wonder what it meant to them to be part of this country in its foundling years? And what would they say now to the bickering and the maligning?

We each hold our own view about what we value about our country, and we express those views and values in various ways. We may not understand how another arrives at their view, but the first responsibility we have is to learn from each other and to clarify misunderstandings before we assert our right to speak out against our neighbor. Being "American" too often is about freedom, and not often enough about the responsiblities that come with those freedoms.

I feel I'm leaning a bit toward a ramble, so I'll wind this down with a simple invitation to think about this question, and, if you're willing, to share your thoughts. Anyone?

Peace.

oh so sweet

I don't have any evidenciary reason to think I might be allergic to gluten. I've learned that it is an allergy that can develop in mid-life, and that for women over forty (that would be "wof," of which I am one) it can be a culprit in the weight-gain battle. So, while I am adjusting my eating habits I thought I would go for a week without wheat, just to see if it makes a difference in how I feel.

After four days I can't determine a difference in how I feel, so chances are good that gluten is not a problem for me. What I CAN tell you is that I am looking forward to resuming having wheat in my diet for one simple reason: honey. It is a glorious food, one of God's better gifts to us, and about as natural a food as you can get. It is wonderful in tea, and since I am now a tea girl adding even a drop to the pot I brew in the morning is a treat.

In this gluten-free interim I am using alternative breads but they are not the same, and I am looking forward to my own freshly baked biscuit drizzled with honey. Ah, the anticipation...

antedote

Yesterday proved to be the perfect antedote to the slipshod day before. It was a gorgeous fall day here--cool temperatues, light breeze, sunny with the occasional cloud playing peekaboo with the glorious autumn light.

This weekend is the annual Oktoberfest sponsored by the local town bank. I always enjoy going to see what sorts of things people have crafted, what local merchants are there, and of course, to smell the food! The church has a booth, as well, and we wanted to stop by and encourage them in their efforts. It was great to be out and be just one of the folks, and I did my part to support the local economy by buying a t-shirt at the humane association booth.

Later in the day I got engrossed in a project that took up what was left of the afternoon, and smiled to myself as I heard football coming from the other room. We heated up leftovers for dinner and afterwards Ken built a fire that bathed us in comfort and normalcy. For the first time in a long time the day felt like the kind of Saturday that I remember from a former life. Shedding cares, delighting in the moment, and unlike the walls at Melrose, feeling plumb with life.

desperately seeking a better day

It was one of those days yesterday. Got up and walked with Ken in the morning. It was cool, the perfect walking temperature. After we returned home he got ready to shove off to work and I came to the computer to blog. My brain was foggy though, and I was just dragging. I felt tired, and finally decided to go back to bed, where I slept for several hours! Yeah, that walking stuff will really wear you out.

I received an email about a dog up for adoption/rescue--Ken and I talked about it and decided to go for it, only to learn we didn't meet minimum criteria because our yard isn't "hard" fenced (we have an invisible fence), and the dog isn't good with children.

Got a call from the host from what would have been today's Pampered Chef show to tell me she had to cancel...

I needed to put some things into the mail to Junior, so bundled some errands and off I went. First stop: post office. Missed the usual turn I take to go there to avoid traffic and sat, yes, in traffic as a consequence!

On to the election commission for early voting. I should have known not to bother. The parking had overflowed into the church lot next door, but I decided to be optimistic. There was a line. It went outside the front door and wrapped around the corner of the building and down the handicap ramp. I decided to endure it until I looked through the window when I got that far along. The line wrapped in the lobby, too, and that was before getting into the room where we would encounter officials and vote. Nope, not today.

Off I went to the gas station to exchange a propane cylinder. Waited in line. Waited ten minutes while the staff looked for the barcode that was supposed to be taped to the cash register to scan the propane tank. Never found it and finally my purchase was input manually under groceries. Did you know that the propane isn't taxable but the tank is? Funny, they tax the entire amount...

And now some aspect of my computer is acting up. I can't highlight text to cut, paste, or otherwise edit. VERY frustrating.

So today I am hoping for better things, and at the least, a way to work out what is going on with the computer. Anybody out there have any ideas? Kip?

Wishing for you all a glorious weekend.

day one

Ken and I have a new doctor. We met with him for the first time on Tuesday, and I shared with him the concerns I had about my weight gain. I also told him that I had been unhappy with two doctors who had essentially blown me off regarding that concern, and that I wanted him to take my concerns seriously. He did.

He proposed the following. For the next month:
--cut out white food (including pasta)
--don't drink anything with more than one calorie in it
--don't eat any "manmade" sweets
--walk 30 minutes every day

The eating regimen is familiar (except for the beverage portion), part of the philosophy I embraced two years ago when I lost weight effectively. I've also read some additional things to aid women over 40 struggling with weight issues, including avoiding wheat (gluten allergy), adding flax seed to my diet and drinking green tea. Yesterday I was able to eat the proper foods without too much trouble, and even made soup to take to last night's Gifts and Talents program that fit The Profile.

Recovering from depression, however, makes it more challenging to take on a discipline with consistency. My greatest loss is morning coffee, in which I MUST have half and half if I want to experience beverage bliss. As I mourned that loss yesterday morning Ken took sympathy on me and made the following offer. He would walk with me every morning at 6.

This morning we began. I'm grateful to have him join me on the walk--it gives us time together for uninterrupted conversation, keeps me accountable, and gets him walking too. Fortunately it is dark now at that hour, so he isn't starting work until a bit later. We should be able to make this part of our day for a long time.

And now if you'll excuse me, I hear the whistle of the kettle announcing that it's time for tea.

aren't they cute?

Junior was in Atlanta last weekend on a dual mission: job interview and female pursuit. We think the job is a done deal (more on that later), and the other mission, while not accomplished, appears to be making excellent progress. We drove through Atlanta on our way home Sunday, and were able to stop and have a little time with Junior and Trisha (and we think she and the dog are both adorable). It's nice to see your child happy, and its fun to see that she's quicker than he with the comeback! I think he may have met his match, but it's a bit early for prognostications.

Turns out she's from Augusta, of all places, so we are thinking that Thanksgiving at Melrose might be in our collective future. Stay tuned for updates!

drum roll, please!

Without further ado, here is the new kitchen at Melrose (a few finishing touches still to be done).

Before:

After:

It is close to impossible to tell that there is a new dishwasher. To the left of the stove in the "before" picture is the hot-water heatercovered, and the top takes the shape of a counter-top. You really can't see a difference in the picture!

heading home

It is always hard to leave this place. Even with the nonstop pace (for Ken) of getting essential work done here, there is always the view, the peace, the essence of warmth and hospitality that Melrose embodies, and the oppotunity to be away from the usual daily pressures that provide respite. Unfortunately Ken got no break, no day off, and there are still things left to do (minor for the kitchen: painting trim and installing cabinet finish trim). Tomorrow he starts on a new job with two others still needing to be finished. Sigh. If we're able, we'll sneak back for a long weekend while weather permits.

I'll be glad to get home to return to the land of dsl. Dial-up is agonizing here. I'll be delighted to be reunited with the dogs. I need to ramp up Pampered Chef. But I will miss being here. Miss the breezes, the sound of the birds, and the ability to note on a daily basis how the colors are changing. But we'll be back.

Hope all is well with those who come to this blog. I'll report in once we're back on home turf, with pictures of the kitchen!!!!!