If you're reading this, thank you. Thank you for coming here to visit, or if we've gotten to know each other through this page, for caring enough to check in. Your presence here matters, even though I don't really know who comes unless they leave a comment or make a reference to what's here some other way (like my Mom, who tells me via email or phone call).
Thank you for hanging in here with me. I know it's not fun to be part of this long haul. I try to use these pages as a way to share an insight, an update, or pose a query (for myself--it helps to do so publicly). I'm sorry that it gets heavy from time to time, and your companionship during those days is especially valued.As Oprah says, a friend will ride with you in the limo, but a real friend will stay with you when the limo breaks down.
As you are aware, I'm a big fan of Tom Ryan and Following Atticus, the story of an extraordinary relationship between a man and a dog. I follow Tom on facebook and his blog because he reiterates positive perspectives and attitudes, and I find his commitment to the journey encouraging. I believe in the message he shares and the means by which one can accomplish what I would deem transformation. On the FA page this morning was a reference to Joseph Campbell's hero. “It’s where a
person comes to a point in life where they are tested as never before
and are forced to become more than they have ever been. It is part of
every great adventure and the journey is never easy. That’s what makes
For so many years I have felt like I've not been in the right place, that I wasn't fitting where I was. I have dissected myself, taken advantage of vocational inventories, personality assessments (no guffawing, please), prayer, discernment, evaluation, come to terms with failures (at least in my head) and celebrated victories. I have looked from every angle I can think of to raise my own awareness and discover what may yet be new to assist in the effort to find the signposts that will lead me forward. Pieces of me are everywhere, littering my internal landscape. It's not an easy road, but I believe in the process underway.
It occurred to me this morning that I have been deconstructing. Some months ago I had the epiphany that I had the knowledge and information available to me to make the essential discovery that would move me forward and in a clear(er) direction. I had lost sight of that, and was reminded of it again last night. I know this is my work to do, but I also know that there are people available to me to assist in this effort, and it's time to call on them.
Help comes in many forms. Your prayers, holding me in the light, your encouragement, sending me notices of job possibilities--all of that is help that I cherish and for which I am exceedingly grateful. One reason I share so much of this part of my inner world here is because I lack a local community to whom I can turn. Isolation is a difficult part of this walk, which is one reason I am especially glad for your presence.
I'm not a fan of new year resolutions, but it is not a bad thing that some inner commitment to find helpmates on this journey is coming about as this year concludes. Every day offers a new beginning and a new opportunity. One day the drips of this work will reach the top of the cup and overflow into new life. When that day comes, expect a big ol' party.