A friend of mine is married to a priest, and she fielded a phone call recently from a prospective visitor to the church.
Caller: "Is your church one of them conservative churches?"
Priest's wife: "I think my husband is in a better position to answer that question for you. Perhaps you could call him at the church."
Caller: "Can't you just tell me if you're one of them conservative churches?"
Priest's wife: "What do you mean exactly by 'conservative'?"
Caller: "You know. Do you have any gays or lesbians on the altar?"
Priest's wife: "No ma'am, we usually just have flowers."