meet kiki

This is my amazing Mom.

I don't say that about her just because she's my Mom and I love her. I mean, just look at what she's doing in this picture. Pruning! When she comes to visit she doesn't expect to be waited on or entertained. She pitches in and is part of the household. She helps cook, cleanup, and put dishes away.

The last time she visited she dusted bookshelves, cleaned photo frames (and we have lots of those), and together we cleaned windows. Windows! They haven't been cleaned since except to get rid of a dead fly that got smacked against one. Yes, yes, I'm a lousy housekeeper, I confess. Well, I did actually clean the kitchen windows once to honor her, just kindling that memory. But Mom isn't amazing because she does those things. Let me recount her itinerary since she left home on April 9.

She generally spends a month at Melrose in the spring, so heading off there wasn't unusual. But she left a week earlier than is typical so that she could welcome her sister-in-law, nephew Ross and his family to Melrose. Ross and his brother own the other half of the original parcel that makes up Melrose. They came from California during school vacation.

Then we arrived for the wedding and were there nearly two weeks. While we were there not only did Mom help us pull together the last bits and pieces for the rehearsal dinner, she also hosted visits from some other kin and kin-types. Like her second cousin, Prudy, who I only met for the first time a little over a year ago (and at Prudy's initiative--do I not have great family?). Prudy was down at Edisto, on the SC coast and took back roads to get to us for a leisurely lunch before heading home to Spartanburg. We had a great visit. And then there was Mary Jane and her son Matt. Mary Jane was married to our step-cousin. Her son was on an orienteering adventure in a state park "in the neighborhood," so they came by for a visit. They live in Atlanta. We tried to work in a visit with our cousin's other ex-wife, but the timing just didn't work out.

Is a picture emerging? She left Melrose last Friday and came here, and while here we visited cousins who live in Nashville. When she left here yesterday she was making a stop in Lexington, KY, to have lunch with a friend. I can't remember if Marie is a friend from college, graduate school, or another part of Mom's life. Her destination last night Was Cincinnati, where is she staying with my aunt, her former sister-in-law. While in Cincinnati she's meeting up with someone she knows there for lunch, another cousin's wife for dinner, my cousins, and I've lost track of who else. From Cincinnati she goes to Oberlin for a college reunion. I've lost track of how many people she's visiting with beyond reunion events. Then on to Meadville, PA, to visit her former step-son and his family. Then. Finally. Home to Connecticut. And she's driving. By herself. At the age of 82. By the time she gets home she will have traveled over 2500 miles.

She wears me out!

But she doesn't just visit and maintain relationships. When she was the CEO of agencies where she worked she would bake brownies to take to committee and board meetings. She pitches in to help in whatever way she can when someone moves. She planted flowers for my sister-in-law's sister-in-law when Amy moved into a new house. She arranges flowers for the mantle of her Friend's Meeting. She has a subscription to a Manhattan theater group. She's in a book club. She is always doing, and often for others.

And she listens. Not only does she listen but she offers compassionate counsel woven with insight and wisdom. And love. Lots of love.

I could go on. And on. But you have other things to do today. I just thought I'd share some of what's in my heart this morning as I look at this picture from the other day. Blessings on yours.

on a happier note

This past weekend a local bank sponsored its annual "Oktoberfest," at which the church had a booth. Some months ago a vestry member related hearing about an organization that had put together gift baskets by theme; baby boy/girl, afternoon tea, coffee lover's, and so on. The idea captured our imagination (or at least it captured mine and I was an enthusiastic endorser), so we decided to adopt the idea as a means of doing a little fund-raising while raising awareness of our existence in the community.

The baskets were tons of fun, and we ended up with 34 of them (a good showing for our small church!). We sold them by way of silent auction, where shoppers could place bids on the basket, or buy it outright for its full value. I have to tell you that there were some real steals, since we started the bidding anywhere from 1/4 to 1/3 of the value of the basket contents.

The weather on Saturday was dismal: COLD, with a high of 47 degrees, and windy. Attendance was extremely poor. But even so, by the end of the day we had sold several baskets and had bids on all but one. Sunday's weather was considerably better--sunny, ten degrees warmer, with little wind. Phew! I'm not sure what the total tally was, but in the end it was more important that we had fun, and the project was a success (and definitely worth repeating). I'd post pictures but I can't find my card reader!

The distraction of Oktoberfest was helpful to my spirits. And oddly enough, when I preached yesterday I got "convicted" and preached a whopper. I think there wasn't a dry eye among the women, and there may have been one or two moist eyes among the men. When I sat down at the conclusion of the sermon you could hear all sorts of nose-blowing, including mine. Yes, tears slipped down my cheeks as I preached (this happens sometimes, and fortunately, this gang is used to that).

Happier still is that this morning I will head to Melrose for the week. I will see the podiatrist first about my heel pain, which was horrible on Friday, and then I will get on the road and head southeast. Ken is staying home to tend to the dogs, work on the stewardship program for Sunday's big day, and look for a job. It will be girl time for Mom and me--the first time since 2004! It will be good for both of us.

Thank you all for your prayers and your kindness. I'm sorry I couldn't reply back to each of you to convey my appreciation for your words--I am still computerless and am trying very hard not to displace Ken from his chair too often! He's been generous during this last week in sharing his space with me.

I doubt I'll be able to report in until after my return next weekend. Know that I will miss being in touch, and pray for good days ahead for all of us.

Peace...

mmmmmm

is for many things...

Mothers * Music *Memories * Magazines * Message boards * Money * Marriage * Movement * Medicine * Month of May * Mountains * Mull * Meditation * Mysteries * Moments * m&m’s * Movies * Mail * Mornings * Massages *

Lots of great M words today. I mean, seriously. Music! Powerful for everyone, unifier of the masses. It transports, soothes, encourages, inspires. One of God's greatest gifts is our capacity to make music.

Memories. For better or worse they connect us to our past, and when they're good they are balm for what ails us. Whether poignant or bitter, they tell our story (and are occasionally revised and edited!), and everyone's story has power. (That word keeps popping up. Hmm, the Ps are coming, I should make a note to self...)

m&m's...

Mystery. Keeps you guessing, whether it's the whodunit type, or has a spiritual flavor. Anything unexplained is an avenue for exploration, and with an open and discerning mind the journey in pursuit of a mystery can be quite the adventure. Life-changing at times.

Mail. Who doesn't love to get personal mail? Does it not make our day? An unexpected card, or a cheerful hello from a voice from the past. Good news, invitations, announcements, sales... Okay, sometimes less than good news arrives via the mail, but we'll overlook that for the moment...

And saving the best for last, Moms. My Mom. She is the absolute best. Smart, thoughtful, sensitive, humorous, compassionate, creative, hospitable, generous, communicative, did I mention thoughtful? She's one of the most thoughtful people I know. I think she's pretty self-less, too. And a bit of a stoic, as recent events have demonstrated. She's a great listener. She is the queen of brownies and birthday banners and so, so much more.

hmmmmm

Health * Home * Happiness * Hope * Hearts * Hydrangeas * Hugs * Hilarity * Heritage * Habits * Horses * Heaven * Hospitality * Harmony * Humor * Hostas * Hash browns * Hues * Hope * Hair * Harbors * History * Hobbies * Harvest * Holidays * Humility * Hammocks * Healing *

My thoughts these days are very much focused on my mother, and what her life has suddenly become as a person displaced from her home. Ten days ago a fire in the wing of the retirement community where she lives forced her and 45 others from their apartments. Most of the units escaped damage from the fire itself (which erupted in the roof of the pool area), but all of them were affected by water and some by smoke damage. Mom was lucky that only a few of her belongings were lost, and it is hoped that her antique dining table will be restored.

Gratitude for what was spared is abundant. In the meantime, however, the reconstruction phase of "what happens next" means that she is homeless for the next six months while the apartments affected by efforts to put out the fire have carpets torn out, drywall replaced and repainted, and who knows what else to restore them to liveability. She is fortunate that one of her very best friends lives in this same community and has an apartment with not only an extra bedroom, but a den and storage area. Mom and Sally can manage sharing space and being of assistance to one another. This is wonderful for the present time but it is not a long term solution.

Some have suggested that she head to Melrose, our tree farm in South Carolina. Although there is a furnished cottage there where one could certainly take refuge for a time, it is not the solution either. For one thing there is no insulation. The cottage began as two rooms with adjoining fireplaces, built sometime in the 19th century. Other rooms were added on over time. There is no HVAC system. Though cool temperatures can be countered by the fireplaces and adjunct space heaters there is no relief from the heat and humidity. Ken and I just experienced that firsthand last weekend while we were there. Perhaps more importantly, however, is that my mother's life is in Connecticut, more than 1000 miles away. That life includes regular visits to New York with a subscription to a theater group, and visits with cousins and former colleagues while she is there. It includes her book club, Friends Meeting and responsibilities she has there. It includes her consulting capacity as a retired social work executive, and the multiple committees on which she serves at Seabury, the community where she lives. It includes relationships and interaction with friends she has known most of her life, weekend trips to various places, and the semi-annual visit to Melrose in the spring and fall (to which she drives by herself). Oh, and my brothers are there! This is not your typical 81-year old.

What keeps her local most at the moment is that she had rotator cuff surgery two weeks ago. She is not yet driving and depends on others for transportation to physical therapy and follow-up appointments with the doctor.

In light of all of this, I am abundantly grateful on this "H" day for my home and my health. Home isn't just a roof over my head. It is a refuge and sanctuary where "I" live. It contains furnishings and posessions that reflect who I am, where I've been, and in some regards, where I am going. It is a place that contains my grounding, through my husband, my dogs, talismans of faith, beloved friends and family, and yes, fabric. It is a haven in which I am free to explore, discover, express and be renewed. Norman Rockwell's "Four Freedoms" includes an image of a child being tucked into his bed by his parents, the title of which is Freedom from Fear. Home is that for me, all encompassing. It is also the place where I find strength to hope for what can and may be. Restoration, transformation, healing, peace...

Among the things I have come to understand in life is that we all face challenges, are underminded by disappointments and brokenness, and seek a heart that is content and a life that comes close to resembling something whole. In light of that understanding it is my prayer this day for all of us that hope will undergird what we live this day, and that come what may, our hearts will be lead home.

friday update

We head out shortly for our weekend in Augusta to celebrate Junior and Trisha. A bonus is that we will also enjoy some time with our friends Jimmy and Barbara, two of my favorite people in the world! Before I go, however, I need to share some other news.

I had a call from Mom yesterday afternoon to let me know that she had been displaced from her apartment at the retirement community where she lives in Connecticut! A fire broke out in the roof of the natatorium (I'm never exactly sure how a pool qualifies as a natatorium, but that's a reflection for another time), which is one floor below and probably 100 feet down the hall from her apartment. The fire appears to have been well contained to the pool and fitness area, but there is considerable damage from water elsewhere. An atrium (see bottom picture) across the hall from the pool/fitness center entrance was completely destroyed by the collapse of the roof above it, as well as from water. Forty-six residents were evacuated to temporary quarters, Mom being one of them. Most of the apartments were not affected by the fire, but some suffered water damage, and of course the sprinkler system got engaged throughout this section of the complex. It will be several days, Mom said, before they are able to get into their apartments to see what damage, if any, is done. I cringe thinking about her lovely apartment (top picture) getting soaked, or suffering smoke damage. I worry especially about several paintings she has, two of which are portraits of ancestors.

Fortunately no one was hurt in this episode, and Mom says that the staff of Seabury (the retirement community, and for you astute observers, yes, it was built by the diocese!) was incredible in their assistance to the residents. The critical next phase of life, however, will be living through reconstruction. Access to the wing where Mom lives is by an elevator or stairs adjacent to the atrium. With the roof collapse I don't know how the residents, especially on her floor, will be able to live there during the rebuilding. We'll get details soon enough.

I suggested to Mom that this would be a great time for her to come for a visit! Alas, she reminded me that she is undergoing physical therapy because a week ago she had rotator cuff surgery! Depending on the damage report it may make more sense for us to make a visit there to help, but we'll see.

In any event, please keep Mom (Kiki) in your prayers through this time of upheaval and adjustment. She's a trooper, but it's still a trauma to the system to undergo something like this.

See you Monday!