catching my breath between the waves

I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.

Louisa May Alcott

How apt that this quote of the day from Gratefulness.org should be waiting for me in my mailbox this morning. I had a stormy day yesterday, and this morning I am feeling bruised and battered from being tossed about in that storm.

Yesterday's storms came up out of nowhere. The first blew hard against my sails, and though I tried to stay on course, altering direction was the only appropriate response.  The second was like a rogue wave, roaring across the deck and knocking me flat with passive aggressive rage. There is nothing to do when hit like that except to steer into port and confront the rogue. Peaceably, of course. But as many in the world of words spoke throughout last week, words hurt. Agendas, particularly hidden ones, do damage. Pettiness detracts from the work to be done, and distracts those whose participation is needed. Sigh. Such is life in the Church. It is wearying and wearing. At the end of the day I wonder sometimes if the Kingdom is better off for having gathered, or more littered with the detritus of human brokenness.

Some years ago I read a piece in a magazine that belongs in the same chapter of wisdom as the quote above from Ms. Alcott. A ship carrying passengers ran into very rough seas, and the ship was tossed about like a toy on raging waves. The passengers gathered to pray, while the captain remained at the helm. Members of the crew joined in with the passengers, and at length a woman detached herself from the group and confronted the captain. "Captain!" she demanded. "Why aren't you praying with us for the safety of your ship and its passengers?" With exasperation he looked her way and replied, "Madame, when the seas are calm I say my prayers, but when they rage I steer my ship."

I am feeling like this captain, alone at the helm trying to steer a ship full of passengers who don't grasp the choices and wisdom of my actions. I guess it's time to start praying in preparation for when the debris of these recent storms will have to be navigated.

(The above painting is by John H. H. Bevort: A sailing ship in a stormy sea)

friday update

We head out shortly for our weekend in Augusta to celebrate Junior and Trisha. A bonus is that we will also enjoy some time with our friends Jimmy and Barbara, two of my favorite people in the world! Before I go, however, I need to share some other news.

I had a call from Mom yesterday afternoon to let me know that she had been displaced from her apartment at the retirement community where she lives in Connecticut! A fire broke out in the roof of the natatorium (I'm never exactly sure how a pool qualifies as a natatorium, but that's a reflection for another time), which is one floor below and probably 100 feet down the hall from her apartment. The fire appears to have been well contained to the pool and fitness area, but there is considerable damage from water elsewhere. An atrium (see bottom picture) across the hall from the pool/fitness center entrance was completely destroyed by the collapse of the roof above it, as well as from water. Forty-six residents were evacuated to temporary quarters, Mom being one of them. Most of the apartments were not affected by the fire, but some suffered water damage, and of course the sprinkler system got engaged throughout this section of the complex. It will be several days, Mom said, before they are able to get into their apartments to see what damage, if any, is done. I cringe thinking about her lovely apartment (top picture) getting soaked, or suffering smoke damage. I worry especially about several paintings she has, two of which are portraits of ancestors.

Fortunately no one was hurt in this episode, and Mom says that the staff of Seabury (the retirement community, and for you astute observers, yes, it was built by the diocese!) was incredible in their assistance to the residents. The critical next phase of life, however, will be living through reconstruction. Access to the wing where Mom lives is by an elevator or stairs adjacent to the atrium. With the roof collapse I don't know how the residents, especially on her floor, will be able to live there during the rebuilding. We'll get details soon enough.

I suggested to Mom that this would be a great time for her to come for a visit! Alas, she reminded me that she is undergoing physical therapy because a week ago she had rotator cuff surgery! Depending on the damage report it may make more sense for us to make a visit there to help, but we'll see.

In any event, please keep Mom (Kiki) in your prayers through this time of upheaval and adjustment. She's a trooper, but it's still a trauma to the system to undergo something like this.

See you Monday!