Sometimes you know just what you want, and nothing else will do. Sometimes you start with an idea of what you want and work to achieve or accomplish it, and along the way the plan gets reshaped and retooled, and what you end up with is different from the original vision. I'm experiencing both of these phenomena while planning this wedding!
It turns out there are very few “things” that are not negotiable. For instance, I never thought I’d get married in November, but what matters to us most is that our family can be with us, and one in our family has a schedule controlled by the US military, so there ya go! Other choices have likewise been dictated by the when and the where, and availability. No problem! I hear stories of brides who insist on one thing or another, and their experience (and those who have to live with them throughout the planning) is filled with tensions and angst. Who needs that? A dream should be something that motivates us. Getting attached to too many specifics is a recipe for disappointment and unhappiness. What drives our decisions is that we want our guests to have a good time, and if the details accomplish that, then we’ve done what we set out to do.
I think the only thing I didn’t want to budge on was the music for my processional. When I first heard the music more than twenty years ago (and no, I’m not going to tell you what it is!) it gave me goosebumps, and I knew it had to be THE tune if the day ever came to walk down the aisle. We’ve adjusted ideas on food, décor, invitations and even attire. We’re not sweating the details.
So here’s to flexibility, and the willingness to adapt and adjust.