Wednesday, June 17, 2009

honoring fathers

I mentioned the other day that we needed to get a Father's Day card to send to Travis, our son-in-law. Ken gave me a blank look. "Why?" he wanted to know.

"Because he's the father of your grandson," I replied, "and a member of our family." The blank look continued, and a conversation ensued about card-giving norms and "protocols." The conversation illustrated yet another area where our backgrounds differ in the extreme, and our life experiences share few common boundaries. It is from such discoveries that both of us learn and grow.

But it made both of us curious about what the "cultural norm" might be around the matter of sending greeting cards. (We won't engage in the discussion about how greeting card companies find occasions and create opportunities to purchase just the right card. At least not today.) So I offered that I would post a poll on this blog and ask readers to respond with what his or her practice might be when it comes to Father's Day. I thank you in advance for participating, and welcome any comments on the subject you'd like to share.
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Jules said...

I always gave one to my dad and one to my step day and one to the kids father when they were little. The kids are now old enough to do that themselves and I know they have one for E.

mompriest said...

If (or when) I have a son-in-law who is the parent of a grandchild, I will send him a Father's Day the meantime, I give my husband one and my father.

madcow said...

Our family did (and still does) consider Father's & Mother's days to be a rather dreadful commercialism-gone-mad kind of affair and didn't send cards to anyone!
I softened in the latter years and would give mum something but consider I would have done so any day of the year.
Joe feels obliged to give me a mothers day card for some reason which is sweet of him but not expected.
As for giving them to others - when somebody asked my mother what she had given my father for father's day the response (from both of them!) was a resounding "He's not MY father!"
So I guess I fall into the "Ken Category" where our cultural norms are unique! Go me & Ken!! LOL

Pam in Moncton said...

I have to say I am not a big Mother's Day and Father's Day fan either. Of course when the kids were little they always made things in school for us for those days and we cherished them. Other than that we don;t do a whole lot. Maybe a card.

Pam in Moncton said...

I should add as regards the poll - I grew up without my father in my life. I did give my grandfather a father's day card and my grandmother and well as my mother mother's day cards as I grew up with those three in my life. My kids gave my husband father's day cards or greetings and I have given my husband them. Have no son or son-in-law (officially) and no grandchildren (yet).


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