Tuesday, March 28, 2006

desperately seeking normal

For the last month+, since departing for Florida and then returning to the house-closing, the move, and the wedding, it has been a nonstop pace. The daily routines that anchor me were effectively yanked away to accommodate more pressing concerns, and so I have been out of touch with my friends and the small things that bring me solace. I am feeling the pain of that! I want desperately to return to a day that begins with coffee and the Early Birds, and allows for chunks of time, even small ones, to work on the NYT crossword puzzle or play Spider Solitaire. I want to chat with the Crew, read blogs and write to people I know and love. I want my life back.

I know that it will come, but the absence of the simple things that ground me is apparent to me, and I am feeling cranky! Time for my own nurture has been so elusive that I have not even opened the last TWO issues of Rubber Stamper magazine that have arrived, or Simple Scrapbooking, OR Paper Crafts. I am forgetful. Sunday I left my purse at the church, and yesterday I left the house for the day without benefit of makeup or having finished with my hair. I forgot to mail the thank you cards I had written. I forgot to send two critical emails in a timely manner. Saturday night I proclaimed that I needed some time for solitude. A nap the next day was as far as I got.

The end is almost in sight. We still have to retrieve remaining belongings from two storage units and the cabin down on the mountain. I have to think about packing for the cruise. I have to assemble class supplies (a stapler?) to take with me. I need to think about pictures and papers that I might want to have with me for a crop. I have to think about what goodies the store might have that I might want to buy, and pre-order those. Saturday. Maybe Saturday I will be able to carve out an hour to think about what lies ahead and try to prepare for it.

Lest this post appear to be nothing more than a whine-fest, I at least have the sense to be grateful that I am in a lovely new home, with a wonderful new husband, and that people I love and who love me took the time from their own busy lives to be here with us. It's spring, and even though it has been cold, it is lovely. Walking Juliet several times a day (we don't yet have the fence installed for the dogs) has been a vehicle of reward. We have received unexpeted gifts in multiple guises, and are blessed by the love they reflect. We had friends over for dinner last night and it was a delightful evening, and I don't begrudge that time at all. I'm just missing a part of me.

Oh well. Such is life. On balance, it's good. Better than good. In fact, it's really quite great.

To Life. L'Chaim.

2 comments:

Kath said...

Oh, Anne, I know just what you mean. Chaos during good times is fine, but we all desperately cling to our little personal requirements, be it a quiet moment with a cup of coffee, a hot bubble bath, whatever - they're as necessary to life as breathing, and you are right to mourn their temporary loss. Hope things get back on an even "dull" keel soon enough for you. Don't really see that happening with the cruise next week, though, lol!
I've been checking back and checking back for wedding pictures, and apparently blinked my eyes and missed them until just now! You were, truly, an incredibly beautiful bride. You guys look wonderful. I can't wait until I am there to see you all dressed up and playing Sadie Sadie Married Lady!
Hugs, Kath

Kip said...

don't blame you one iota Anne as I'm sure by now, I would be throwing a major hissy fit and acting very unlady like if I had been on your schedule!! But, alas, it's true, before you know it, you'll be a-sailing the seas with all of us and we'll be a-toasting and laughing all the way to Mexico and back!

xxoo,
Kip

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