Monday, April 23, 2007

remembering

A year ago today I lost my best friend, Kathy. It's hard to believe that she died less than six months following her diagnosis of metastatic lung cancer. Her attitude was always upbeat, and she worked diligently and with fierce determination to combat the beast that took her life. There is still a sense of disbelief, even now, that she is gone. But she is gone, and her absence is felt keenly.
When I was still walking the dogs I would use that walking time to talk to her. We became friends over a period of months when we walked every morning before I went to work, and walking was always one of her joys, especially on a beach. Without my walks I find other ways to share with her, and daily there are reminders of her presence in and impact on my life. I am grateful for the little talismans that remind me not just of her, but of how well she knew me, understood me, and cared for me.
I was on my way to see her when she died, and though I regret that I wasn't able to squeeze her hand that last time, or kiss her goodbye, I have made my peace with a spiritual farewell that took place. That gift is precious to me, and allows me to continue to honor who she was and continues to be for me. It is enough.
This is my favorite picture of us. There aren't very many, because one or the other of us was always behind the camera, but on this occasion we were visiting friends in Michigan and they did the honors. I'm not crazy about how I look here, with my goofy, closed-mouth smile, but it captures a moment of friendship that is typical, and cherished.
I love you Katrina. Thanks for all the memories...

4 comments:

Kip said...

I love the picture too and am so glad you have it. It's so hard losing people we love.

Jayne said...

I love this photo too. I think your smile reflects the joy you felt being there in that moment with her and I know she is always with you...

Maria said...

What a sweet, treasured picture. I can't imagine losing my best friend. Makes me very appreciative today.

Jules said...

thinking of you!

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