Friday, October 15, 2010

friday five: connections

My main peeps (one of whom is deceased)
At RevGals Jan writes: I am currently reading Bowling Alone by Robert D. Putnam, where he explores the changes in community in the USA in the 20th Century. He explains how communities, people, and especially children function better when they live where there is high social capital. Basically, it means that "relationships matter."

So here are some questions to ponder for this Friday Five about connecting with:


This is something of a tender topic for me right now. Relationally I really don't have any friends locally, not with whom I am close. There are church people with whom I have good and close relationships, but we all know about the limits of such. The part of my life hardest hit by ministry is relationships. I am really missing close connections. My nearest confidante is more than two hours away.

1. Self: Who was your hero/heroine when you were about ten years old?
I have no idea. I don't know if I had one. Right now my physical therapist is my hero!

2. Family: Who are you most like? Who is most like you?
If we're talking about family, I am like both of my parents, strengths as well as deficits. I wish I had more of my mother's qualities and fewer of my father's. I don't have any kids, so I don't know that there is anyone "like" me, although I joke with my nephew that "we must be related" because of traits we have in common. I used to do that with my step-grandfather, too. I adored him.

3. Friends: How do you stay in touch?
The Internet: facebook, blogs, email. Occasionally the phone

4. Neighborhood, community: What are ways you like to be involved?
I had a much richer life before ministry. I was a very active Scottish country dancer, did lots of sewing, quilting, needlework, knitting... at church I was involved in a variety of lay ministries. I entertained a lot. Gardened. I have expanded my network of connections since ministry through Pampered Chef.

5. Job/church: Do you see a need that will help in developing connections?
Connections I make through church broaden my network of contacts, but they don't help me develop a balanced life. What I really need is a balanced life.

8 comments:

The Bug said...

I think this is a common problem among ministers - because you aren't 9-5, your job is always with you. AND you live in your work community so you can't just cut loose either - you're an EXAMPLE darn it. I'm not helping, am I? Sigh.

I'll pray for a local, non-church friend for you!

Mompriest said...

((altar ego)) I hear you loud and clear! I too had a richer life, in some regards, before ordination. That is a sad tesimony....sigh...love to you...

Jan said...

I know it is hard for ministers, especially for ones who like some solitary time, to live out their calling and then have few friends not in the church. I hope one comes through Pampered Chef. Love the collage of pictures of your "peeps". I am grateful that we've connected through blogging. (I still have your handmade Valentine!)

Jayne said...

I can imagine it is so hard when most of your contact, socially and otherwise, is within the church your serve. Funny that I've never seen you as a "priest" but rather, just Anne. :c) I like that, don't you? Love to you my friend. Wish we were closer too.

SingingOwl said...

I too relate. Yes, it is sad. BUT I love your picture up top!

Donna Henderson said...

Hello, Pastor. I have to resist delving into my memories right now, too sad, but just stopped by to say hello and send my love.

Nancy, Near Philadelphia said...

When I was in seminary, both of my field ed placements were in congregations where the pastors were single women. One was desperately lonely, the other slightly less so. They both needed friends outside of the church but didn't seem to know how to accomplish that. One leaned inappropriately heavily on me. It was confusing. I think you are on the right track, trying to branch out through the PC business. Your life is complicated.

Nancy, Near Philadelphia said...

When I was in seminary, both of my field ed placements were in congregations where the pastors were single women. One was desperately lonely, the other slightly less so. They both needed friends outside of the church but didn't seem to know how to accomplish that. One leaned inappropriately heavily on me. It was confusing. I think you are on the right track, trying to branch out through the PC business. Your life is complicated.

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